Crazy bum

A man gets on the bus and starts whining about how he can't afford the fare. He then looks up at me and says "Wow, You are the hottest bus driver I've ever seen in my entire life. Has anyone ever told you that before?" I don't know what it is but over the past month, it seems like every single day someone tells me I'm hot. It's not like I put any effort into my appearance. I wear a blue polyester uniform...I mean who actually looks good in polyester? NO ONE!!!



On my return trip, guess who I pick up? Yeah, you guessed right. The bum with tattoos up his neck and on his face. "Hey gorgeous. I'm glad I got you again" He says. He's only glad to see me because he knows I'll give him a free ride! "I'm going to sit up front here so I can talk to you." He says. I don't respond. He pulls out a book and starts reading. We get to his stop and as he's getting off he says "Hey, let's go for drinks later tonight. We'll go wherever you want to go." HA! He's got quite the sense of humour. He can't even afford bus fare, how the hell is he going to afford to take me out for drinks? I've got quite expensive taste. "Yeah, sure, I'll meet you as soon as I'm finished work." I reply. I then shut the doors and drive away. I have to stop at a red light and the bum walks across the street in front of my bus. He stops, blows on the windshield so it fogs up, draws a heart and mouths I love you. Awwww!! How fuckin' romantic is that? I'm so in love with you, I'll bear your children....BAH HA HA! Yeah right! 

All I have to say is...Why me?