Screaming Louise

As a rule I let pretty much everyone on my bus regardless of whether they are capable of paying or not. What do I care? It's not my money, I'm trying to collect. There are a few exceptions though. Louise is one of them.

Louise has mental issues (like a lot of people on the streets). When she doesn't take her medication (which happens quite frequently) she is incapable of speaking at a normal volume. Everything that comes out of her mouth is amplified ten fold. She also has this habit of asking other passengers on the bus for spare change. Being one of those people who don't take no for an answer, I've ended up with a few fights on the bus between her and other passengers. She'll get on the bus hunching over, or trying to sneak on behind another person saying "I'm not here. You didn't seen nothing" "No, I'm sorry but I cannot let you on the bus" I'd reply. "Pleaz mizzuz. I won't say one woyd (word), not a single woyd." She would say. Usually I would end up relenting and allowing her on the bus. "Okay, I'll give you a ride but I don't want to hear a peep out of you, and you absolutely cannot ask anyone for money." I'd say.

The last time I allowed her on my bus she was fairly silent for part of the trip. All of the sudden I hear this blood curdling scream. It startles me so badly, I end up just about driving the bus into a lamp stand. "Look, Louise, I already told you once. Not a word out of you. I just about had an accident, I can't have you on my bus screaming" I told her. "I APOLOGIZE! I'M SORRY. I APOLOGIZE!!!" she shouts. "You're screaming again, I can't have someone on my bus that screams for no reason. I'll take you to your stop but be warned, this is the last ride you will ever get from me. Remember my face because I will not allow you on my bus again" I reply.

At one of my stops, Louise tries to get on the bus. I refuse her. One of the other passengers asks me why I didn't allow her on the bus. I start explaining my reasons when another passenger cuts me off. "Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch. We don't want to hear your excuses. You left a woman out in the cold. You are the most cruel, heartless woman I have ever met in my entire life" He says.
Maybe I am? I start re-evaluating my decision. Everyone deserves the chance to be on a warm, safe bus but Louise always causes trouble. Half the time she's on my bus, I end up having to call security to either remove her or break up a fight she's caused. Am I wrong to refuse her just so that I don't have problems on the bus? Maybe I'll give her another chance....

Reason # 826 why kids are such shits!

I was driving school bus for a private school in which yearly tuition rivaled that of harvard's. Obviously all of the children came from well to do families. One day, one of the little terrors asked me what kind of car I had. I replied that I drove a saab. Immediately the bus went silent and I could see the kids respect of me increase...DRAMATICALLY. I'm sure they were all thinking, wow, we completely misjudged her, she has an expensive car...maybe we should be a little bit nicer.... And then the bubble burst when another kid asked what year and model my car was. I replied "900s, and it's a '94".

"Why is it so old? When I turn sixteen my dad said he's going to buy me a porsche cayanne!" another spoiled rich, asshole child said.

Maybe it's so old because I make $81 a day to drive you brats from your million dollar houses to your million dollar school that you've been attending since kindergarden?

I hate kids.

My way or the highway.

A few years back, I was driving bus for a company that drove cross country. I was fairly new to the job and still trying to double clutch smoothly without stalling the bus. In training we were told that we had the right to kick anyone off the bus for any reasonable reason just so long as they were dropped off in an area that wasn't completely secluded (IE: NOT dropping them off in the middle of a mountain pass 40 miles from the closest payphone). One of my instructors pulled me aside and gave me some tips on how to get rid of problem passengers. "You need to avoid all confrontation, trick them if you have to. You're going to be on your own with no backup and you are a small female and people will try to take advantage of that" he warned me. With those words of wisdom in my head, I ventured out into the world as a highway driver on my own.

My second trip on the job, I'm scheduled to relieve a driver at 4am and drive 11 hours back to my home base. The bus is mostly empty and the majority of the passengers were sound asleep that is except for one. Let's call him Ted. Ted decided to use this road trip as a drinking binge. As soon as I get on the bus, Ted starts getting excited over the fact that I'm female.

The bus I had was an old seven speed and no matter how smooth your shifting was, you had to grind the gears to get it going. After a few stalls and mis-shifts, Ted starts commenting on how true the stereotype is about female drivers. Now when most alcoholic people get on a bus they bring a mickey...nope Ted brought two fortys. He also requested I stop the bus every ten minutes for a smoke break.

So here I am with a shitty ass bus that I'm doing my best to drive with this drunk, sexist asshole jeering me on. About 8 hours later (oh yes, Ted's behaviour persisted throughout the entire journey...I was hoping he'd pass out), I pull into a depot to unload some cargo. Now, we have a washroom in the depot as well as one on the bus. I come out of the depot to see Ted peeing on the side of my bus. "Okay, that's it! I'm sorry sir but this behaviour stops now. You can catch the next bus, I will not have you on mine any longer" I tell him. "Oh, but please, I only need to go two more stops. I'm so sorry, I won't say anything else." he says. "Fine, but if I hear so much as a peep out of you, you're going to be kicked off this bus so fast you won't know what hit you." I reply.

Approximately four blocks later, I stop rather abruptly for a red light. "Oh, man. I've got whiplash. Stupid, fuckin' women drivers. Go back to the kitchen where you belong. I'm suing you!" he rants. I calmly pull the bus over and tell him "Hey buddy, we're having a smoke break" "YES!!" he replies as he goes to make his way off the bus. "Why don't you take your stuff with you?" I ask. He complies. As soon as he's off the bus with his luggage, I shut the doors and pull away with the entire bus applauding my actions.