The circus

What do you think of when you hear the word circus? Large crowds? Bright costumes? People performing amazing tricks? Well my route contained all of these things. At the end of the night I was wondering if I had mistakenly joined the circus. 


I pick up my bus on the road and usually it shows up a couple of minutes late. Tonight was no exception. As the driver pulled into the stop I saw that he had the people crammed on there like sardines. I swear there were people pressed up against the front windshield. Being as it's a fairly major stop about half of the passengers disembarked. One woman got off carrying about four hula hoops. I'm not too sure what she was doing with that many. Perhaps she's a street performer. 


The driver got off and I took control of the wheel. At the next stop one woman gets on and I have trouble keeping a straight face. It was the first week of October, closer to Halloween than say Christmas, but not that close. This woman was wearing a lavender jester outfit with an ankle length cloak. Perched atop her head is a matching lavender witches hat complete with about 20 silk flowers and a two foot long feather (also lavender). "Wow! You sure are colourful. Are you on your way to a party?" I ask. "Nope. I just finished work" She replies. With no further explanation she heads to the back of the bus and grabs a seat.

Continuing along I pull into a stop downtown where a man in a wheelchair awaits me. I put on my hazards and start lowering the bus, before I can put out the ramp he interrupts me. "Don't worry about all of that jazz, I can manage" He says. He does manage, quite well. He takes a run and in one smooth motion hops his entire wheelchair onto the bus. Holy shit, this guy's good. Little did I know he had more tricks up his sleeve. When we get to his stop I ask if he wants me to put out the ramp for him. "Nope, I don't need no ramp and don't lower the bus this time" He tells me. He then gathers speed and flies out the door. He got about two feet of air. He ends up landing on two wheels and does a one eighty so that he's facing me. "How'd you like that?" he asks. He takes off before I can say anything but I could smell the burnt rubber he left on the pavement. 



For about an hour nothing out of the ordinary happened and I was starting to accept the fact that I was just driving a bus and not enjoying a circus performance. Glancing out my window I notice a man walking down the street. Something seems to be amiss but I can't quite put my finger on it. Suddenly it hits me. I'm looking at a stark naked man. He didn't even have socks on his feet. I immediately look out the other window, hoping that no one else on the bus noticed the nudist. Not even two seconds later I hear a gaggle of girls start shrieking. "Oh my god, he's naked! HA HA HA! And it's cold out, no wonder I thought it was a woman at first!" 


Maybe I am in a circus???


And the highlights of the rest of the night...A group of guys grunting while crushing beer cans on their chest. And a creepy lady giving me homemade candy....She reminded me of the witch who gave snow white the poisonous apple.