Bus helpers

Maybe you know who I'm talking about, maybe you don't.
These are the people who

a. ride the bus way too often

b.want to be bus driver's themselves but have failed miserably

or c. believe that you are incompetent and need their help.


Things that they do...

Tell you when you should be turning (usually when you're halfway through the turn)

Ring the bell at every stop that they see people at (they aren't getting off, they just want to make sure that you see the people waiting and don't pass them by)

Warn you if you're getting too close to a lamp stand/curb/car etc (I'm only forty to sixty feet long depending on the bus; I'm perfectly aware of how large I am and my surroundings. Thank you very much.)

Call out stops for you

Inform you when someone is sneaking in the rear doors or has failed to show the proper ticket (ie: you didn't look closely enough at his pass, it's from august. we're now in September)

Tell you the bus is full of trash but don't bother to pick it up or start picking up the trash and throw it out at the next stop (this is when I try to leave them behind)

Start going on about how certain routes were better twenty years ago and they should change them back to the way it used to be. Then ask my opinion on the matter. (Hell, I was four years old. Does it look like I'd remember things from that long ago?)

Try to tell you that you need to turn the retarder off so the bus brakes smoother

Answer other passenger's questions for you



If you have checked yes to any of these symptoms you are indeed a bus helper. Sorry to inform you of this princess but we don't need nor want your help. We all went through a rigorous training program in order to get this job so get off the bus and get a fuckin' life!!!