Drunk #2

Friday night. What do you think of? Partying? Drinking? Hitting on bus drivers young enough to be your daughter?


A couple boards the bus (so completely drunk, I'm not sure they were even aware of what bus they were on) the man pulls out a handful of pennies and asks how much the fare is. "$2.50" I replied. "For each of us? No way? That's expensive." he said. Cheaper than taking a taxi! "Just throw what you have in the fare box. okay?" I told him. It added up to 67 cents. Printing out two transfers, I handed them to the couple. "Don't worry about it, just get it next time" I said. "Thank you sir" the woman replied. She then looked at me and realised that I was in fact female and not male like she assumed. "Sorry, it's just that most drivers are guys but you're not. I mean obviously, I never thought you were a man. I just didn't look at you. After I looked at you I saw right away that you weren't a man." she explained. Yeah, keep digging! "No worries, it actually happens a lot" I replied. "It's his first time on a bus. Not mine though, I take the bus all the time, but it's his first time." she told me. "Ummm congratulations?" I replied. What is the correct response to that comment??


After getting settled in their seats the couple then has the most descriptive, vulgar conversation about sex that I have ever heard in my entire life! I'll spare you the gruesome details but let me just say that every sentence contained these three words: pussy, cock, and fuck. Oh and I neglected to mention that these people were about the same age as my parents. I know this for a fact as the woman kept repeating over and over and over again how depressing it was to get to fifty years old. I quickly came to the conclusion that they had just met (in a bar perhaps?) as the woman kept saying to the man that they should get married and the man kept replying that his wife wouldn't like that much. They then informed me that they were actually brother and sister. Ummm yeah. Brother and sister my ass. Or if they are...I don't even want to think about it. Eventually, I managed to tune them out. Well actually I turned the fans on high, so I wouldn't hear them anymore. This worked for about 60 blocks until the woman shouted at me so loudly, I couldn't ignore her. Turning my fans off I asked her to repeat herself. Big mistake. "Did you hear him? He just said that you're sweet and he wants to do you in the....." she said. What the fuck? At first they were kinda amusing in a twisted, disturbing sort of way but now they've just crossed the line into super inappropriate. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Luckily for me, they got off at the next stop and I didn't have to.