It was raining. No big surprise since it's november and it usually rains on a daily basis. At one stop I have a woman with a walker and another woman with a broken leg on crutches get on the bus. Naturally I wait until they're seated before I move the bus. As for everyone else, I advise them to hold on and usually will start driving while they're still standing. We really don't have the time to wait for everyone to take a seat before we start moving. If you're handicapped or elderly or request we wait, then we will.
At the next stop a man gets on the bus. I tell him to hold on before starting to pull away from the curb. Two seconds later I hear the squeak of his shoe (a fuckin' croc. Those should only be worn in the garden!!!) against a wet leaf. He ended up flying backwards and hitting his head so hard that I thought he had cracked his skull at the very least. I immediately stop the bus, help him up and ask if he's okay. Being more embarressed than anything, the man tells me that he's fine and it's his fault for wearing the wrong footware. I take his name and information just in case. As I get back into my seat to start driving again, the old woman with the walker pipes up "Why didn't you wait for him to sit down? You knew the bus was slippery?" And then another passenger chimed in with the same sort of sentiment....and another and another. I ignored them. It was an unfortunate situation but most people are aware that the bus will move so they hold on to something. I also warn them to hold on if I see they're just standing there when I'm about to take off.
About half an hour later, I'm driving down main st. I'm doing about 40kms approaching an intersection that has a green light for me. A car in the oncoming turn lane decides that it would be a good idea to make a left hand turn in front of a 10 ton bus going close to the speed limit on a wet, slippery fall day. I yell "HOLD ON" and hit the brakes so hard that the antilocks kick in. The back end is fishtailing across two lanes, I'm terrrified that I'm going to end up completely totatlling this car. I end up just missing this guy's rear bumper with less than an inch to spare. All of my passengers congratulate me on avoiding an accident.
It's funny being a professional driver. Being on the road all the time, I have developed this sixth sense as to when and where accidents will occur. So even though a car may be stationary, I can amake a reasonable guess as to what he's going to do and where I'll need to be to avoid the accident.
On my second to last run of the evening this extremely drunk man gets on the bus. He sits in the front seat and immediately urinates himself. Now to be honest this has happened more often than I'd like it to. If you can't control your bladder when you're drinking, wear an adult diaper to the bar!
The smell is so bad that most of the passengers have moved to the back of the bus while I have the fans on high speed and am driving with my head out the window. A few stops later a little old woman gets on and sits right next to the man who pissed himself. I notice her take out a lace hankerchief and cover her mouth and nose with it. At the next stop I tell her that I'll wait, if she wants to move seats. She says that she's okay and only has another couple of blocks to go. Once we finally reach the terminus people start flying off my bus like rats abandoning ship! Stinky gets off as well.
Immediately I call control and request for a supervisor to clean up the mess.
Control: Can you carry on?
Me: No! Someone urinated on the seat. I don't want another passenger sitting on it.
Control:Well is there a lot of fluid on the seat or just a bit?
Me: I don't know, I threw a newspaper over it.
Control: Alright, we'll send a supervisor.
Ten minutes later my phone rings.
Control: Uhhh. Are the seats cloth?
Me: It's a trolley, all of the trolley seats are cloth. So YES!
Control: Well a supervisor can't properly clean that up....
Me: So?????
Control: We're cancelling your run. You only have one left. Go not in service back to the garage..
Me: Thank you have a good night!
And I was off an hour early!! I did have to drive a stinky bus for close to an hour though but then again, I was off an hour early!!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Domo arigato Mr. Roboto
It was a clear blue sky. The air was crisp and clean. Birds were whistling in the trees while squirrels romped merrily about the city. At my first stop, time seems to slow down. Heads turn, everyone's watching her. It was almost like we were in a commercial. At almost six feet tall, her golden blonde hair reflects the sunlight. Wearing a light silk kimono, she shows me her bus pass and give me a formal bow. All eyes are still on her. The men want her and the women want to be her. She looks like a model, tall, slim with curves in all the right places. WAIT A SECOND! Time resumes it's normal speed, the sappy commercial music dies out. That curve doesn't belong in her neck.
Good for you girl! It took me about two minutes before I noticed the adam's apple.
Good for you girl! It took me about two minutes before I noticed the adam's apple.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Keep it in your pants, you might produce stupid children
As I'm sure all of you are aware that I get yelled at quite a bit while at work. Since I don't particularly enjoy being scolded, I try to do everything in my power to avoid being the subject of people's finger pointing accusations. Right now I drive a route that essentially loops around the downtown core. One way I'm the 666 and in the other direction I'm the 665, which happens to take a slightly different route than the previous.
Starting out as a 666, I loaded up my bus and proceeded to turn left instead of going straight like the 665 does. One man comes up to the front of the bus and starts yelling "Why the hell are you turning down Main st.? You're a 665! You're supposed to go straight!" "Actually sir, I'm a 666 and the 666 turns down Main" I calmly reply. "YOU CHANGED THE SIGN!!!" he shrieks. "No, I actually don't touch the sign. The bus changes it automatically for me. I started out as a 666 and haven't changed since" I say. "I've been reading for 35 years (He was close to 70...maybe a late bloomer?) and I know what I saw! Your parents made a mistake when they decided to have sex and create YOU! Tell them I said that! You're a waste of space. You're taking up all the oxygen that should be reserved for the intelligent people of this planet!" he tells me.
I already get yelled at enough as it is. Why would I change the sign halfway through my route? I'm not some sort of masochist.
I just called my parents and informed them of this man's opinion. All my dad did was laugh hysterically. Ha! My parents don't think I'm a waste of space!!!
Starting out as a 666, I loaded up my bus and proceeded to turn left instead of going straight like the 665 does. One man comes up to the front of the bus and starts yelling "Why the hell are you turning down Main st.? You're a 665! You're supposed to go straight!" "Actually sir, I'm a 666 and the 666 turns down Main" I calmly reply. "YOU CHANGED THE SIGN!!!" he shrieks. "No, I actually don't touch the sign. The bus changes it automatically for me. I started out as a 666 and haven't changed since" I say. "I've been reading for 35 years (He was close to 70...maybe a late bloomer?) and I know what I saw! Your parents made a mistake when they decided to have sex and create YOU! Tell them I said that! You're a waste of space. You're taking up all the oxygen that should be reserved for the intelligent people of this planet!" he tells me.
I already get yelled at enough as it is. Why would I change the sign halfway through my route? I'm not some sort of masochist.
I just called my parents and informed them of this man's opinion. All my dad did was laugh hysterically. Ha! My parents don't think I'm a waste of space!!!
A novel idea
You know how you're in the end of a line of people waiting to board a bus? I have a rather simple idea as to how to make that line up speedier. Now I know what you're all thinking: a faster line, yes please, I hate waiting so much that it makes me grumpy and then I have to take it out on the bus driver. Well, folks not to worry, I've come up with a simple solution that only requires a little bit of passenger participation.
HAVE YOUR FUCKIN' BUS FARE OUT BY THE TIME THE BUS HAS ARRIVED!!!!!
It seems that even if people have been waiting for some time for the bus to show up, they still are unprepared to board. They'll wait till they're actually on the bus, blocking people (that already have their fare ready) from getting on behind them while they dig through their bags in search of those elusive pennies. I know that this seems like work but in reality, it's really not. Think about it. By preparing your fare ahead of time, you have more space to move, no other people pushing you aside, and you also aren't under so much pressure. If everyone were prepared then I could load people on the bus in half the time and would also probably end up not being so behind schedule.
So what do you think? Is it possible? Would you guys, maybe, be interested in getting on the bus faster?
HAVE YOUR FUCKIN' BUS FARE OUT BY THE TIME THE BUS HAS ARRIVED!!!!!
It seems that even if people have been waiting for some time for the bus to show up, they still are unprepared to board. They'll wait till they're actually on the bus, blocking people (that already have their fare ready) from getting on behind them while they dig through their bags in search of those elusive pennies. I know that this seems like work but in reality, it's really not. Think about it. By preparing your fare ahead of time, you have more space to move, no other people pushing you aside, and you also aren't under so much pressure. If everyone were prepared then I could load people on the bus in half the time and would also probably end up not being so behind schedule.
So what do you think? Is it possible? Would you guys, maybe, be interested in getting on the bus faster?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Two words you never want to hear your girlfriend say....
I'm late.
It happens. There are a variety of reasons as to why this may happen. Traffic. Mechanical failure. Injured/sick passenger. Emergency/having to call 911. Accidents.
So please, for the love of mike, the next time the bus is late don't yell at the operator. It's usually not their fault. We have feelings too!
It happens. There are a variety of reasons as to why this may happen. Traffic. Mechanical failure. Injured/sick passenger. Emergency/having to call 911. Accidents.
So please, for the love of mike, the next time the bus is late don't yell at the operator. It's usually not their fault. We have feelings too!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I'm with stupid
I was stopped at a bus stop downtown. My doors were open and I was loading passengers. A woman comes up to the front of the bus.
Woman: Do you stop here?
Me: Umm. Yeah. This is a bus stop which is why I have my doors open and am letting people on the bus.
Woman: So I can get off here?
Me: Yes, you can.
Woman: Okay, thanks. I just wanted to be sure.
The stop after that isn't for another two and a half blocks. As I start through the intersection, I hear the next stop chime. Not even two seconds later, I hear the buzzing sound which indicates someone is trying to open the rear doors. I look in my mirror and see a man trying to get off the back of the bus. Another passenger informs him that the doors won't open while the bus is moving. The next intersection, I'm stopped at a red light. Once again the man tried to activate the back doors. The passenger behind him tells him that the doors won't open until the green light is on and we're only stopped at a red light not the actual bus stop. At the next intersection, I'm once again stopped at another red light. Guess what? The man tried to open the doors again. I get on the PA and say "Would you mind waiting until we get to the stop? We're at a red light here, I can't let you off the bus." Once we pull into the stop, I activate the doors and no one gets off. "Sir, this is the stop." I say. Dead silence. I flip the switch to actually open the rear doors so they'll be wide open without having to push the bar to open them. He still doesn't get off the bus. "Where do you need to go?" I ask the man. "Oh, I don't want this stop. I was just checking to see if I could get off the bus when it wasn't at a stop." he replies. AARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On my next trip a man comes up and asks me how far down the street I go. "I only go as far as Main st." I reply. "Well how far down is that?" he asks. "About 10-15 blocks" I reply. "How many blocks?" he asks in a patrionizingly slow voice (as if you were talking to a deaf child!) "About 10-15 blocks" I reply in the same kind of voice. About 10-15 blocks later, I announce that this is my last stop before I turn around. The man comes back up to the front of the bus and remarks "I only wanted to know how many blocks we had to go. Why didn't you tell me?" "Sir, I previously said 10-15 blocks. I didn't know the exact number. I'm sorry." I say. "Bitch! You don't need to be so rude!" he says.
On my return trip, I see a firetruck and an ambulance in the last bus stop on the street before I turn the corner. Since someone rang the bell, I get on the PA and announce that I'll be unable to pull into the bus stop so I'll be stopping half a block before the stop. Most everyone gets off the bus which is unusual, as most people tend to wait until I'm around the corner. A man who had gotten off the bus comes to the front doors and asks how to get down the street that I will be turning on. I tell him to hop on my bus because that's where I'm going. He replies "But I thought you couldn't go through because of the emergency vehicles?" "No, I'll be able to pass them, they're only taking up one lane of a four lane road, I just wasn't able to pull into the bus stop." I reply. "You sure you can make it by them?" he asks. "Yes, I'm sure" I confirm. By the time I've turned the corner and pulled into the bus stop most of the passengers who had disembarked at the last stop have walked to my stop. "Why did you kick us all off the bus if you could make it past the firetruck? We had to walk a whole block! You're a liar and a terrible person!" they all yelled in unison. Okay, I may have slightly exagerated that but that was the general gist of it.
I herby declare November 2nd first annual idiot day!
Woman: Do you stop here?
Me: Umm. Yeah. This is a bus stop which is why I have my doors open and am letting people on the bus.
Woman: So I can get off here?
Me: Yes, you can.
Woman: Okay, thanks. I just wanted to be sure.
The stop after that isn't for another two and a half blocks. As I start through the intersection, I hear the next stop chime. Not even two seconds later, I hear the buzzing sound which indicates someone is trying to open the rear doors. I look in my mirror and see a man trying to get off the back of the bus. Another passenger informs him that the doors won't open while the bus is moving. The next intersection, I'm stopped at a red light. Once again the man tried to activate the back doors. The passenger behind him tells him that the doors won't open until the green light is on and we're only stopped at a red light not the actual bus stop. At the next intersection, I'm once again stopped at another red light. Guess what? The man tried to open the doors again. I get on the PA and say "Would you mind waiting until we get to the stop? We're at a red light here, I can't let you off the bus." Once we pull into the stop, I activate the doors and no one gets off. "Sir, this is the stop." I say. Dead silence. I flip the switch to actually open the rear doors so they'll be wide open without having to push the bar to open them. He still doesn't get off the bus. "Where do you need to go?" I ask the man. "Oh, I don't want this stop. I was just checking to see if I could get off the bus when it wasn't at a stop." he replies. AARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On my next trip a man comes up and asks me how far down the street I go. "I only go as far as Main st." I reply. "Well how far down is that?" he asks. "About 10-15 blocks" I reply. "How many blocks?" he asks in a patrionizingly slow voice (as if you were talking to a deaf child!) "About 10-15 blocks" I reply in the same kind of voice. About 10-15 blocks later, I announce that this is my last stop before I turn around. The man comes back up to the front of the bus and remarks "I only wanted to know how many blocks we had to go. Why didn't you tell me?" "Sir, I previously said 10-15 blocks. I didn't know the exact number. I'm sorry." I say. "Bitch! You don't need to be so rude!" he says.
On my return trip, I see a firetruck and an ambulance in the last bus stop on the street before I turn the corner. Since someone rang the bell, I get on the PA and announce that I'll be unable to pull into the bus stop so I'll be stopping half a block before the stop. Most everyone gets off the bus which is unusual, as most people tend to wait until I'm around the corner. A man who had gotten off the bus comes to the front doors and asks how to get down the street that I will be turning on. I tell him to hop on my bus because that's where I'm going. He replies "But I thought you couldn't go through because of the emergency vehicles?" "No, I'll be able to pass them, they're only taking up one lane of a four lane road, I just wasn't able to pull into the bus stop." I reply. "You sure you can make it by them?" he asks. "Yes, I'm sure" I confirm. By the time I've turned the corner and pulled into the bus stop most of the passengers who had disembarked at the last stop have walked to my stop. "Why did you kick us all off the bus if you could make it past the firetruck? We had to walk a whole block! You're a liar and a terrible person!" they all yelled in unison. Okay, I may have slightly exagerated that but that was the general gist of it.
I herby declare November 2nd first annual idiot day!
Monday, November 1, 2010
New/old stories
You may have noticed the abnormal amount of postings that were done today. I recently found a whole lot of writing from 2008/2009 so I decided to repost it. Sorry for any repeat stories.
Yield to the bus...or not.
Posted on the bumper of every bus in the city is a large bright yellow sticker stating "Please yield to the bus, it's the law". I know that the buses are covered with adverts and you may be so distracted by the oversized picture of oozing meat by Vera's burger shack that you may miss the bumper sticker; that's understandable. I'll forgive you. Once. But now you know and you no longer have an excuse. Seriously people, I'm on a tight schedule. I've got kites to fly and fish to fry (perhaps not the metaphor that pertains to this particular situation). Okay, I've got places to go and people to see (that makes more sense).
I don't know the statistics of how many cars actually yield and quite frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. Statistics are bullshit. All I know is that when I put on my turn signal to leave a stop most cars continue past me as though I weren't there. Usually after about the fourth car I'll start honking at those that refuse to move. 99 times out of 100 this results in the driver laying on the horn and telling me I'm number one with their middle finger. "They love me, they want to be part of my fan club (you can be part of it too. Just send a cheque for $100.00 and you'll receive an autographed picture as well as emailed updates about my ever so exciting life). Occasionally, I won't have to rely upon my horn; some drivers actually do slow down or stop for me. It always leaves me with a warm, fuzzy feeling that starts in my heart and continues down to my toes.
The other day, I had the socks shocked off of me. The first car that saw my indicator come on actually stopped and motioned for me to pull out. Wow! I doubt that will ever happen again. I believe I have a better chance of winning the lottery. Hmmm maybe I should start playing.
A lot of drivers seem to fear buses, as they rightly should. I'm bigger than you, I'll squash you like a bug. I do take advantage of this fact and force other drivers to bend to my will. If we're at a standstill and I need to switch lanes, I will stick my nose in front of you and force you to let me in. But that is an entirely different scenario than me sticking my nose in front of a car travelling at 50kms an hour. The chances of getting hit are much greater and to be honest there is way too much paperwork to fill out as the result of an accident. So all in all I tend to avoid getting myself in situations where damage could be caused either to a vehicle or a person. Many a driver has been so startled when I put on my signal that they've swerved into oncoming traffic much to the dismay of other vehicles around them. Or else they give me a few toots on the horn. Let me reassure you buses are equiped with mirrors; large mirrors (that can pose a hazard when driving past lampstands!). Rest assured, I see you, I know that you're there. Thank you for moving so quickly out of the way and/or audibly informing me of your presence but really it's quite unnecessary.
And now kids, it's time for the funny story of the day...
I pulled into a stop where one older (55+) gentleman was waiting. I opened the doors with a smile and just about choked and vomited on my standard greeting. This man was wearing baggy blue jeans and was standing with his hands on his hips. (I know, it's not funny yet...I'm getting to it). His fly was down. (So? Still not funny). He had also chosen this day (but who knows, it could be every other day as well) to go commando. Yes, I was just flashed by your grandfather.
I don't know the statistics of how many cars actually yield and quite frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. Statistics are bullshit. All I know is that when I put on my turn signal to leave a stop most cars continue past me as though I weren't there. Usually after about the fourth car I'll start honking at those that refuse to move. 99 times out of 100 this results in the driver laying on the horn and telling me I'm number one with their middle finger. "They love me, they want to be part of my fan club (you can be part of it too. Just send a cheque for $100.00 and you'll receive an autographed picture as well as emailed updates about my ever so exciting life). Occasionally, I won't have to rely upon my horn; some drivers actually do slow down or stop for me. It always leaves me with a warm, fuzzy feeling that starts in my heart and continues down to my toes.
The other day, I had the socks shocked off of me. The first car that saw my indicator come on actually stopped and motioned for me to pull out. Wow! I doubt that will ever happen again. I believe I have a better chance of winning the lottery. Hmmm maybe I should start playing.
A lot of drivers seem to fear buses, as they rightly should. I'm bigger than you, I'll squash you like a bug. I do take advantage of this fact and force other drivers to bend to my will. If we're at a standstill and I need to switch lanes, I will stick my nose in front of you and force you to let me in. But that is an entirely different scenario than me sticking my nose in front of a car travelling at 50kms an hour. The chances of getting hit are much greater and to be honest there is way too much paperwork to fill out as the result of an accident. So all in all I tend to avoid getting myself in situations where damage could be caused either to a vehicle or a person. Many a driver has been so startled when I put on my signal that they've swerved into oncoming traffic much to the dismay of other vehicles around them. Or else they give me a few toots on the horn. Let me reassure you buses are equiped with mirrors; large mirrors (that can pose a hazard when driving past lampstands!). Rest assured, I see you, I know that you're there. Thank you for moving so quickly out of the way and/or audibly informing me of your presence but really it's quite unnecessary.
And now kids, it's time for the funny story of the day...
I pulled into a stop where one older (55+) gentleman was waiting. I opened the doors with a smile and just about choked and vomited on my standard greeting. This man was wearing baggy blue jeans and was standing with his hands on his hips. (I know, it's not funny yet...I'm getting to it). His fly was down. (So? Still not funny). He had also chosen this day (but who knows, it could be every other day as well) to go commando. Yes, I was just flashed by your grandfather.
Lexus
Beautiful, sleek, sophisticated. That's a lexus. It comes with more features than an airplane. This is a car that can fuckin' park itself. I just have one question?? Why the fuck don't they come with turn signals??
Shopping cart madness
I work for one of the few transit systems that is fully wheelchair accessible. On every bus there is room for two wheelchairs (or scooters). When the space isn't occupied by a disabled passenger, more often than not it's used by parents parking their strollers there.
In every large city, you will at one point or another encounter someone who's homeless. Our city is no exception. Check out the downtown east side and you will see the homeless (or as I lovingly call them bums) in their full glory. They have a market, of sorts, on the sidewalk. It's actually quite interesting to watch. People are gathered round; buying, selling, observing or just tripping out. Most carry their belongings in garbage bags (not quite as stylish as louis vitton but far more practical. Myself, I'd take the black garbage bag over the designer shit any day). Some actually have their own wheels...ahem...wheel chairs. Most still have the "property of such and such a hospital" stamped on the back. Obviously the hospital had a garage sale and got rid of their excess medical equipment.
The ones in the wheelchairs are usually pushed around by a friend/lover/family member/stranger/unsuspecting tourist while they clutch their garbage bags on their laps. Once, I saw a miracle take place. A man decided to take advantage of the disabled, stole his bag o' goodies and took off running. Lo and behold, the Lord almighty healed the man. In the name of Jesus, I command you to walk. Well the man in the wheelchair didn't believe in baby steps and sprinted after the robber. Let me tell you, he could give any Olympian a run for his money. Now the most fortunate ones actually have shopping carts. They can carry numerous bags or cans or people or lamps (I saw a shopping cart full of lamps once....it was odd).
I pulled up to a stop smack dab in the middle of the east side. I open my doors and a man pushing a shopping cart attempts to board the bus.
I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you on the bus - me
But I've got the fare today - shopping cart man
Ummm. that's not the issue. We actually can't take shopping carts on the bus - me
WHAT?!? But you let baby carriages on. Some of those strollers are bigger than my cart - shopping cart man
Yeah, but those strollers hold children and most can be folded up (stroller not the child) - me
What if I get a kid to sit in the shopping cart? - shopping cart man
Are you talking about kidnapping? - me
No, just borrowing my friend's kid -shopping cart man
Look the answer is no. I will not let you on with a shopping cart, now if you can please step back so I can close the doors ( he had the cart half loaded on the bus already) -me
Stupid, fuckin' whore!! BITCH!! I'm gonna call transit and complain and I know your bus number - crazy shopping cart man
Okay, you do that. Have a nice day - me
With that I shut the doors in his face and drove away. I always believe in service with a smile!
In every large city, you will at one point or another encounter someone who's homeless. Our city is no exception. Check out the downtown east side and you will see the homeless (or as I lovingly call them bums) in their full glory. They have a market, of sorts, on the sidewalk. It's actually quite interesting to watch. People are gathered round; buying, selling, observing or just tripping out. Most carry their belongings in garbage bags (not quite as stylish as louis vitton but far more practical. Myself, I'd take the black garbage bag over the designer shit any day). Some actually have their own wheels...ahem...wheel chairs. Most still have the "property of such and such a hospital" stamped on the back. Obviously the hospital had a garage sale and got rid of their excess medical equipment.
The ones in the wheelchairs are usually pushed around by a friend/lover/family member/stranger/unsuspecting tourist while they clutch their garbage bags on their laps. Once, I saw a miracle take place. A man decided to take advantage of the disabled, stole his bag o' goodies and took off running. Lo and behold, the Lord almighty healed the man. In the name of Jesus, I command you to walk. Well the man in the wheelchair didn't believe in baby steps and sprinted after the robber. Let me tell you, he could give any Olympian a run for his money. Now the most fortunate ones actually have shopping carts. They can carry numerous bags or cans or people or lamps (I saw a shopping cart full of lamps once....it was odd).
I pulled up to a stop smack dab in the middle of the east side. I open my doors and a man pushing a shopping cart attempts to board the bus.
I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you on the bus - me
But I've got the fare today - shopping cart man
Ummm. that's not the issue. We actually can't take shopping carts on the bus - me
WHAT?!? But you let baby carriages on. Some of those strollers are bigger than my cart - shopping cart man
Yeah, but those strollers hold children and most can be folded up (stroller not the child) - me
What if I get a kid to sit in the shopping cart? - shopping cart man
Are you talking about kidnapping? - me
No, just borrowing my friend's kid -shopping cart man
Look the answer is no. I will not let you on with a shopping cart, now if you can please step back so I can close the doors ( he had the cart half loaded on the bus already) -me
Stupid, fuckin' whore!! BITCH!! I'm gonna call transit and complain and I know your bus number - crazy shopping cart man
Okay, you do that. Have a nice day - me
With that I shut the doors in his face and drove away. I always believe in service with a smile!
Green means go, yellow means go faster and red means you didn't go fast enough!
As one who drives for a living, I see more idiots on the road than the average Joe. I was actually amazed at how many people ran red lights. Now, I don't mean a light that has just changed red. I'm talking about stale reds where it's been red for at least five seconds and everyone else has come to a stop. Most of the time the car/truck/SUV/bus/tank etc will stop at the light, wait for a few seconds and then drive through the intersection. I have a few ideas of why this happens...
Red-green color blindness :
Red-green color blindness simply means that a person cannot distinguish shades of red and green (usually blue-green). Their visual acuity (ability to see) is normal. There are no serious complications; however, affected individuals may not be considered for certain occupations involving transportation or the Armed Forces where color recognition is required. Males are affected 16 times more often than females, because the gene is located on the X chromosome.
Traffic light confusion :
Looking at the light, they notice it's red, and come to a stop. They then look over at the other light, see that it's green and therefore they can go. So they go. These individuals can never remember which light they should obey and thus obey whichever one is more convenient.
Expensive SUV syndrome:
These are the ones that have spent over $54,000 on their Lexus RX 400h. They believe that they are important and better than everyone else; especially those who make less than six figures a year. They must have the best of everything. Their lawns are green and perfectly manicured even when there's a water drought. They bought the hybrid model because they like to think they are environmentally friendly. They've bought Al Gore's book and have it proudly displayed in their library right next to Plato's republic and The prince by Machiavelli. Of course they've read these books and discuss them in great detail (Reality check. They've read the review and thus believe they know what they're talking about). Their SUV's must have four wheel drive (just to get over those pesky curbs that are constantly in the way), be able to park itself (because I sure as hell can't do it) and have a fully navigational GPS system (How else would I be able to get around in this city?). Rules don't apply to them and if anyone attempts to say otherwise, they have their lawyers on speed dial to help enforce their point of view.
I started counting the number of red light incidents that occurred in a one week time span. I counted 8! Eight, that's appalling. And remember this doesn't include those who run the fresh reds, only stale ones. Two of these happened at the same intersection as I was walking home. I was crossing northbound (on a green) when a Mercedes travelling westbound ran the light. The SECOND car (Honda accord. also westbound) just about plowed right into me as I had just about finished crossing the street (that's how red the light was). Of course he honked and gave me the finger. Oh, I'm sooo terribly sorry for crossing the street in front of you, making it more difficult to run the red that's almost turned green! JACKASS!!!
Red-green color blindness :
Red-green color blindness simply means that a person cannot distinguish shades of red and green (usually blue-green). Their visual acuity (ability to see) is normal. There are no serious complications; however, affected individuals may not be considered for certain occupations involving transportation or the Armed Forces where color recognition is required. Males are affected 16 times more often than females, because the gene is located on the X chromosome.
Traffic light confusion :
Looking at the light, they notice it's red, and come to a stop. They then look over at the other light, see that it's green and therefore they can go. So they go. These individuals can never remember which light they should obey and thus obey whichever one is more convenient.
Expensive SUV syndrome:
These are the ones that have spent over $54,000 on their Lexus RX 400h. They believe that they are important and better than everyone else; especially those who make less than six figures a year. They must have the best of everything. Their lawns are green and perfectly manicured even when there's a water drought. They bought the hybrid model because they like to think they are environmentally friendly. They've bought Al Gore's book and have it proudly displayed in their library right next to Plato's republic and The prince by Machiavelli. Of course they've read these books and discuss them in great detail (Reality check. They've read the review and thus believe they know what they're talking about). Their SUV's must have four wheel drive (just to get over those pesky curbs that are constantly in the way), be able to park itself (because I sure as hell can't do it) and have a fully navigational GPS system (How else would I be able to get around in this city?). Rules don't apply to them and if anyone attempts to say otherwise, they have their lawyers on speed dial to help enforce their point of view.
I started counting the number of red light incidents that occurred in a one week time span. I counted 8! Eight, that's appalling. And remember this doesn't include those who run the fresh reds, only stale ones. Two of these happened at the same intersection as I was walking home. I was crossing northbound (on a green) when a Mercedes travelling westbound ran the light. The SECOND car (Honda accord. also westbound) just about plowed right into me as I had just about finished crossing the street (that's how red the light was). Of course he honked and gave me the finger. Oh, I'm sooo terribly sorry for crossing the street in front of you, making it more difficult to run the red that's almost turned green! JACKASS!!!
Dumbass!
I finished my shift downtown today. While waiting to catch my bus to go back home a guy approached me and asked "Hey, are you interested in buying some bus tickets?" Just to clarify, I was wearing my uniform...the same one that all transit drivers in the city wear. "Heh? Are you shitting me?" I replied. "Well, you see, I'm moving and I need to make some quick money" he explained. I gave him the look. The look is a mixture of disdain, anger, and bewilderment. It was designed solely to make people feel stupid and I have spent many a year perfecting it. He took a step back and looked me up and down. About ten hours later he exclaimed "Oh, you work for the bus company! As a driver?" I nodded. Rather hesitantly he asked "so you aren't interested in the bus tickets?" It's situations like that when I fervently wish people required IQ tests before reproducing.
It's a bird, it's a plane...nope it's definitely a bird!
Pulling into one of the stops in the downtown east side a man wearing a long overcoat and a funny blue hat boarded the bus. As he had a cane I waited until he was seated before I pulled away. "Thank you so much driver; in all my years riding the bus, you're the first who's actually waited for me to sit down before driving away." The man commented. "No worries. It's part of my job" I replied. The real reason I waited? I didn't want to fill out the required paperwork if he had fallen and injured himself...I despise paperwork with a passion!
The man and I continued chatting amicably about the weather and what not. Pulling into the next stop, the man wished me a good day and hobbled towards the door. Glancing at him in my riot mirror (my large rearview mirror that shows me when people are going crazy on the bus) I noticed that he now had a pigeon perched atop his hat. What?!? No? It's not real. It can't be...oh, it's moving and is attatched to a leash. Yup, it's a real bird. As the other passengers were boarding I continued gawking at this guy with a bird on his head getting off my bus. One woman asked me what the problem was. (I was sitting in shock with my mouth hanging open). "That man has a bird. On the bus." I replied. The woman laughed at me and said "Well it certainly looks that way" "But animals aren't allowed on the bus without a proper carrier" I stuttered. Well too late to tell him that. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not so sure I'd try to enforce the rule if I saw him again. It was rather amusing (once I got over my shock) to see such a well behaved pigeon...Hell the bird caused less problems than most people that ride the bus!!
The man and I continued chatting amicably about the weather and what not. Pulling into the next stop, the man wished me a good day and hobbled towards the door. Glancing at him in my riot mirror (my large rearview mirror that shows me when people are going crazy on the bus) I noticed that he now had a pigeon perched atop his hat. What?!? No? It's not real. It can't be...oh, it's moving and is attatched to a leash. Yup, it's a real bird. As the other passengers were boarding I continued gawking at this guy with a bird on his head getting off my bus. One woman asked me what the problem was. (I was sitting in shock with my mouth hanging open). "That man has a bird. On the bus." I replied. The woman laughed at me and said "Well it certainly looks that way" "But animals aren't allowed on the bus without a proper carrier" I stuttered. Well too late to tell him that. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not so sure I'd try to enforce the rule if I saw him again. It was rather amusing (once I got over my shock) to see such a well behaved pigeon...Hell the bird caused less problems than most people that ride the bus!!
Gasoline is flammable? OMG!! I like totally didn't realize it was dangerous.
A woman boarded the bus at one of the less popular stops. As she got on, I noticed she was carrying several shopping bags and a jerry can. Walking down the aisle she spilled quite a bit of liquid from the jerry can onto the floor of the bus. "Ma'am is that gasoline?" I asked. "Yup, I ran out of gas" she replied. Don't they have gas gauges in cars now a days? "I'm sorry but you cannot transport gasoline on a bus" I informed her. "But I can't walk. It's too far" she said. By this time she was seated quite comfortably (as comfortably as one can get on a bus), batting her eyelashes and staring at me. I'm sorry but flirting only works with me if you're a male, hot, and not transporting a potential bomb! "I'm going to have ask you to get off the bus" I repeated. "But how am I going to get to my car?" she asked. Take a taxi, hitchhike, walk, I don't care, just get off my bus!!! Finally she realised that I wasn't going to bend the rules for her and she exited the coach. Meanwhile, I had to clean up the spilled gas and deal with the fumes. Thanks a lot blondie!!!
Bus helpers
Maybe you know who I'm talking about, maybe you don't.
These are the people who
a. ride the bus way too often
b.want to be bus driver's themselves but have failed miserably
or c. believe that you are incompetent and need their help.
Things that they do...
Tell you when you should be turning (usually when you're halfway through the turn)
Ring the bell at every stop that they see people at (they aren't getting off, they just want to make sure that you see the people waiting and don't pass them by)
Warn you if you're getting too close to a lamp stand/curb/car etc (I'm only forty to sixty feet long depending on the bus; I'm perfectly aware of how large I am and my surroundings. Thank you very much.)
Call out stops for you
Inform you when someone is sneaking in the rear doors or has failed to show the proper ticket (ie: you didn't look closely enough at his pass, it's from august. we're now in September)
Tell you the bus is full of trash but don't bother to pick it up or start picking up the trash and throw it out at the next stop (this is when I try to leave them behind)
Start going on about how certain routes were better twenty years ago and they should change them back to the way it used to be. Then ask my opinion on the matter. (Hell, I was four years old. Does it look like I'd remember things from that long ago?)
Try to tell you that you need to turn the retarder off so the bus brakes smoother
Answer other passenger's questions for you
If you have checked yes to any of these symptoms you are indeed a bus helper. Sorry to inform you of this princess but we don't need nor want your help. We all went through a rigorous training program in order to get this job so get off the bus and get a fuckin' life!!!
a. ride the bus way too often
b.want to be bus driver's themselves but have failed miserably
or c. believe that you are incompetent and need their help.
Things that they do...
Tell you when you should be turning (usually when you're halfway through the turn)
Ring the bell at every stop that they see people at (they aren't getting off, they just want to make sure that you see the people waiting and don't pass them by)
Warn you if you're getting too close to a lamp stand/curb/car etc (I'm only forty to sixty feet long depending on the bus; I'm perfectly aware of how large I am and my surroundings. Thank you very much.)
Call out stops for you
Inform you when someone is sneaking in the rear doors or has failed to show the proper ticket (ie: you didn't look closely enough at his pass, it's from august. we're now in September)
Tell you the bus is full of trash but don't bother to pick it up or start picking up the trash and throw it out at the next stop (this is when I try to leave them behind)
Start going on about how certain routes were better twenty years ago and they should change them back to the way it used to be. Then ask my opinion on the matter. (Hell, I was four years old. Does it look like I'd remember things from that long ago?)
Try to tell you that you need to turn the retarder off so the bus brakes smoother
Answer other passenger's questions for you
If you have checked yes to any of these symptoms you are indeed a bus helper. Sorry to inform you of this princess but we don't need nor want your help. We all went through a rigorous training program in order to get this job so get off the bus and get a fuckin' life!!!
Drunk #1
Driving along one day I spotted a woman holding onto the bus stop for dear life. Maybe she is expecting a hurricane?? As she boarded the bus, I realised that she was just severely intoxicated; so much so that she actually had trouble standing up. Pointing her finger straight in my face she asked "Do you know how to get to mumble mumble hotel?" "I'm sorry?" I replied. "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO mumble mumble mumble HOTEL?" she repeated. Everything coming out of her mouth was crystal clear except for the actual name of the hotel. Since it is a large city with numerous hotels, I could hazard a guess but most likely I'd get it wrong. I also figured that asking her to repeat herself again would be useless. "No, I'm sorry, I don't know where that particular hotel is" I told her in my best calm the crazy drunk down before they do damage to you voice. "But you're a bus driver" she exclaimed. Really?? No shit, and here I was under the impression that I was a hot dog vendor. "You should know everything, don't you drive around the city all day?" she asked/yelled/slurred. I opened my mouth to attempt a reply but she beat me to it. "You know what you are? USELESS!! Don't they teach these kind of things when you're in training? I thought that bus drivers were supposed to be helpful and nice, not bitches who know nothing like you!" She then turned to exit the bus and walked straight into the doors. I had already started driving at this point. If I waited at every stop to have a conversation with every drunk, I'd be there till Christmas. "Let me off! I don't want to be on this bus. I want a different bus" she slurred. "We're in the middle of an intersection ma'am, I can't stop. I'll let you off at the next stop which is half a block ahead." I informed her. I pulled into the stop, opened the doors and watched her fall flat on her face. "Are you okay?" I asked. She gave me the finger. Well she's moving, that's a good sign. I then proceeded to drive away.
Drunk #2
Friday night. What do you think of? Partying? Drinking? Hitting on bus drivers young enough to be your daughter?
A couple boards the bus (so completely drunk, I'm not sure they were even aware of what bus they were on) the man pulls out a handful of pennies and asks how much the fare is. "$2.50" I replied. "For each of us? No way? That's expensive." he said. Cheaper than taking a taxi! "Just throw what you have in the fare box. okay?" I told him. It added up to 67 cents. Printing out two transfers, I handed them to the couple. "Don't worry about it, just get it next time" I said. "Thank you sir" the woman replied. She then looked at me and realised that I was in fact female and not male like she assumed. "Sorry, it's just that most drivers are guys but you're not. I mean obviously, I never thought you were a man. I just didn't look at you. After I looked at you I saw right away that you weren't a man." she explained. Yeah, keep digging! "No worries, it actually happens a lot" I replied. "It's his first time on a bus. Not mine though, I take the bus all the time, but it's his first time." she told me. "Ummm congratulations?" I replied. What is the correct response to that comment??
After getting settled in their seats the couple then has the most descriptive, vulgar conversation about sex that I have ever heard in my entire life! I'll spare you the gruesome details but let me just say that every sentence contained these three words: pussy, cock, and fuck. Oh and I neglected to mention that these people were about the same age as my parents. I know this for a fact as the woman kept repeating over and over and over again how depressing it was to get to fifty years old. I quickly came to the conclusion that they had just met (in a bar perhaps?) as the woman kept saying to the man that they should get married and the man kept replying that his wife wouldn't like that much. They then informed me that they were actually brother and sister. Ummm yeah. Brother and sister my ass. Or if they are...I don't even want to think about it. Eventually, I managed to tune them out. Well actually I turned the fans on high, so I wouldn't hear them anymore. This worked for about 60 blocks until the woman shouted at me so loudly, I couldn't ignore her. Turning my fans off I asked her to repeat herself. Big mistake. "Did you hear him? He just said that you're sweet and he wants to do you in the....." she said. What the fuck? At first they were kinda amusing in a twisted, disturbing sort of way but now they've just crossed the line into super inappropriate. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Luckily for me, they got off at the next stop and I didn't have to.
A couple boards the bus (so completely drunk, I'm not sure they were even aware of what bus they were on) the man pulls out a handful of pennies and asks how much the fare is. "$2.50" I replied. "For each of us? No way? That's expensive." he said. Cheaper than taking a taxi! "Just throw what you have in the fare box. okay?" I told him. It added up to 67 cents. Printing out two transfers, I handed them to the couple. "Don't worry about it, just get it next time" I said. "Thank you sir" the woman replied. She then looked at me and realised that I was in fact female and not male like she assumed. "Sorry, it's just that most drivers are guys but you're not. I mean obviously, I never thought you were a man. I just didn't look at you. After I looked at you I saw right away that you weren't a man." she explained. Yeah, keep digging! "No worries, it actually happens a lot" I replied. "It's his first time on a bus. Not mine though, I take the bus all the time, but it's his first time." she told me. "Ummm congratulations?" I replied. What is the correct response to that comment??
After getting settled in their seats the couple then has the most descriptive, vulgar conversation about sex that I have ever heard in my entire life! I'll spare you the gruesome details but let me just say that every sentence contained these three words: pussy, cock, and fuck. Oh and I neglected to mention that these people were about the same age as my parents. I know this for a fact as the woman kept repeating over and over and over again how depressing it was to get to fifty years old. I quickly came to the conclusion that they had just met (in a bar perhaps?) as the woman kept saying to the man that they should get married and the man kept replying that his wife wouldn't like that much. They then informed me that they were actually brother and sister. Ummm yeah. Brother and sister my ass. Or if they are...I don't even want to think about it. Eventually, I managed to tune them out. Well actually I turned the fans on high, so I wouldn't hear them anymore. This worked for about 60 blocks until the woman shouted at me so loudly, I couldn't ignore her. Turning my fans off I asked her to repeat herself. Big mistake. "Did you hear him? He just said that you're sweet and he wants to do you in the....." she said. What the fuck? At first they were kinda amusing in a twisted, disturbing sort of way but now they've just crossed the line into super inappropriate. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Luckily for me, they got off at the next stop and I didn't have to.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a mercedes benz?
It was towards the end of my shift when I looked ahead to the next bus stop and noticed that someone had parked a Mercedes smack dab in the middle of the stop. Not at the front, where I could pull in behind. And not at the back, where I could pull in front. The only possible way for me to get into the spot would be to parallel park the bus. As I got closer, I saw a man running towards the car. Good! He saw the bus and he's moving for me. That's nice of him, almost as nice as NOT parking in a bus zone!! He then opened the trunk of the car and began unloading groceries. I guess he's not as nice as I originally thought. Since I had to let people off at the stop, I layed on the horn. He stopped what he was doing, walked to the driver's side of the car and motioned for me to pass him. I don't think so buddy, this is my turf...get lost eh!!! I stopped the bus where it was and stared him down...well at least that's what I tried to do. Seeing as he still didn't move, I put on my hazard lights and unloaded the passengers in the middle of the street. "Sorry, folks we have someone who seems to think their car is a bus and has parked at the stop so I'm going to have to let you off here. Please watch your step." I announced. The man stepped back with a satisfied grin.
Good job buddy, you held your ground and got a prime parking spot! Suddenly the man looked behind him startled. One of the passengers that had gotten off started yelling at him. "What do you think you're doing? Can't you read the sign? This is a bus stop! No parking you idiot!! I just had my hip replaced and it's hard for me to get off the bus when there's no curb for me to step onto." The 80+ yr woman yelled. Ahhh Justice. I drove away with a smile.
Good job buddy, you held your ground and got a prime parking spot! Suddenly the man looked behind him startled. One of the passengers that had gotten off started yelling at him. "What do you think you're doing? Can't you read the sign? This is a bus stop! No parking you idiot!! I just had my hip replaced and it's hard for me to get off the bus when there's no curb for me to step onto." The 80+ yr woman yelled. Ahhh Justice. I drove away with a smile.
Yes, I know the bus is late!
It happens. You need to understand that sometimes situations arise that are beyond my control. It may be that I've had four passengers in wheelchairs, or that my bus broke down and I had to wait for the mechanics to bring me a replacement, or that I've had to call 911 because someone has just been attacked and took refuge on the bus, or that I was stuck in rush hour traffic. I can't help these things. You must realize that standing in the doorway yelling at me doesn't help the situation; it actually makes it worse. You seem to believe that the louder you yell, the better it'll be. Are you under the impression that sound waves have the ability to reverse time?? I know, I'm not a scientist but I do know that this doesn't happen. I'm sorry this myth most likely was started because of other drivers. Let me also tell you this (don't tell anyone, it's a secret), sounding your horn while running a red light doesn't reverse time or even suspend it. So please stop your yelling and just be patient, you're only the 50th person to inform me that I'm running late. You don't think I'm aware of the fact; I'm the one that's driving the bus! Oh and when I explain that the reason we're late is that the bus broke down please don't respond with "the bus? Ha! more likely it was the driver that broke down." I don't know what you mean by this, but I'll assume it's an insult.
What?!?
A woman comes up to the front of the bus and calmly informs me that I'm driving too fast. Glancing down at my speedo (speedometer; no, I was not wearing a speedo while driving) I see that I'm doing exactly 50kmh. "I'm doing the speed limit" I inform her. "But you're a bus" she replies. "So?" I respond. "You're bigger, you should be going slower." she says. After almost four years of driving buses, you get used to them. I'm more comfortable driving a bus through downtown than my Honda civic. I know how big I am and exactly how much space I need. "I have to do the speed limit. If I drive less than that, I become a hazard to everyone else on the road (I'd also be terribly behind schedule)" I told her. "Well, I'm getting off, my nerves can't handle you" she replied. Fine, be my guest. I'd like to see you find a bus driver that doesn't drive the speed limit!
No idling!
At night we have meeting points. The reason for this is that the service slows down considerably and instead of buses being minutes apart they're now half an hour apart. So we have certain points in the city where we stop and wait for other buses to show up. (Ie: I'm travelling northbound, I'll wait for the east and westbound buses). This way anyone who's on that bus can hop onto mine, or vice versa, and they don't have to worry about missing their connection.
I get to my meeting point last night and stop; waiting for the other buses to arrive. A drunk bum on the bus pipes up "Shouldn't you be shutting the bus down? They do have a three minute idle law in the city you know." "I'm aware of that, but I'm not driving a diesel, I'm driving a trolley." I respond. "Oh, your bus doesn't run on diesel. What does it run on, gasoline?" He asked. "It's a trolley. It's run by electricity" I said. "Electricity? Really? When did the city get those?" He asked. "About sixty years ago" I responded. "But what if the power goes out? They must have a gasoline engine, just in case?" He asked. "Nope, these buses are entirely electric. They have back up batteries. We can go about 15 blocks at 30kmh before we'll run out of power" I explained. "Wow, these newfangled gadgets. I can never keep up with technology these days" He exclaimed. Yeah, cuz 60 years of trolleys is really new!!
I get to my meeting point last night and stop; waiting for the other buses to arrive. A drunk bum on the bus pipes up "Shouldn't you be shutting the bus down? They do have a three minute idle law in the city you know." "I'm aware of that, but I'm not driving a diesel, I'm driving a trolley." I respond. "Oh, your bus doesn't run on diesel. What does it run on, gasoline?" He asked. "It's a trolley. It's run by electricity" I said. "Electricity? Really? When did the city get those?" He asked. "About sixty years ago" I responded. "But what if the power goes out? They must have a gasoline engine, just in case?" He asked. "Nope, these buses are entirely electric. They have back up batteries. We can go about 15 blocks at 30kmh before we'll run out of power" I explained. "Wow, these newfangled gadgets. I can never keep up with technology these days" He exclaimed. Yeah, cuz 60 years of trolleys is really new!!
Highs and lows...well mostly lows of the evening
To the man who ran up behind the bus while I was at a stop and placed a firecracker on the back of the bus. I saw you. You were trying to be sneaky but I have mirrors, I can see when someone suddenly disappears behind the bus and then runs away laughing. Thank you. You scared the shit out of me when it went off half a block later and you broke my license plate light. Douche bag!!
To the man who fell onto the bus. I asked if you were okay. You said yes and patted my shoulder. Well, I'm assuming that's what you intended to do. Actually you patted my chest. I'll let it slide as you were drunk and you probably didn't realise what you were doing but for future reference, I don't appreciate being groped by men forty years older than me.
To the woman standing beside the tree trying to flag me down. I think you were a little confused as to what constitutes as a bus stop. A bus stop consists of a pole with a sign that says "Bus stop". This definition does not include trees, no parking signs, street corners, the middle of the street or lampposts (unless it does have a bus stop sign attached to it). Next time walk to the nearest stop as I don't have time to stop at every tree in the city!
To the man who told me to drive faster because he was late for work yesterday on account of my driving. A bus is not a race car. I'll drive the speed limit and when I get to a timing point, I'll leave when I'm scheduled to leave. If you're schedule's so tight why don't you try taking the bus before me, or a taxi or drive yourself? Oh and by the way, I was right on schedule yesterday just as I was today!
To the man who fell onto the bus. I asked if you were okay. You said yes and patted my shoulder. Well, I'm assuming that's what you intended to do. Actually you patted my chest. I'll let it slide as you were drunk and you probably didn't realise what you were doing but for future reference, I don't appreciate being groped by men forty years older than me.
To the woman standing beside the tree trying to flag me down. I think you were a little confused as to what constitutes as a bus stop. A bus stop consists of a pole with a sign that says "Bus stop". This definition does not include trees, no parking signs, street corners, the middle of the street or lampposts (unless it does have a bus stop sign attached to it). Next time walk to the nearest stop as I don't have time to stop at every tree in the city!
To the man who told me to drive faster because he was late for work yesterday on account of my driving. A bus is not a race car. I'll drive the speed limit and when I get to a timing point, I'll leave when I'm scheduled to leave. If you're schedule's so tight why don't you try taking the bus before me, or a taxi or drive yourself? Oh and by the way, I was right on schedule yesterday just as I was today!
Scooter lady
Noticing a woman in a scooter at one of my stops, I apply the parking brakes, throw on my hazards, lower the bus and begin opening the ramp. When the ramp is about a foot from being fully lowered, the woman suddenly decides to move forward. Seeing as the ramp is now about to hit her, I attempt to stop it. Unfortunately it doesn't respond so well and the ramp ends up hitting her on the leg. She screamed...well actually it wasn't so much of a scream per se, it was more like a howl - werewolf style. "I'm soo sorry ma'am. Are you okay?" I ask. "Did you all see that? She's trying to kill me!" the woman cried out to the crowd of people waiting to board the bus. Off to a great start. This is going to be a fun night. She finally moves back enough so that I can fully lower the ramp. Going full speed up the ramp she then drives right into the fare box, she backs up until she hits the door frame. Moving forward again (with a few minor collisions with the seats, stanchions, fare box again) she manages to get the scooter mostly centred in the isle of the bus. As she drives past me she shouts "Cunt" Are you getting an idea of how skilled or lack thereof she was as a driver? I do give her this though, she managed to turn the scooter around (it's easier if they're backed into the spot) with no more than twenty collisions. I was starting to imagine her as a pinball in a pinball machine.
She managed to negotiate herself into the wheelchair spot. Moving from my seat, I got my first good look of her, as I went to strap her in. You know how sometimes old women wear lipstick smeared everywhere in the general area their mouth is in? Yeah, she had that going on as well as overly orange foundation, fake eyelashes and 1970's blue eyeshadow. I also noticed that she had a five o clock shadow happening. Now imagine the deepest most manliest, gravelly voice you've ever heard. Multiply it by ten and you've got her. Trying to get the straps onto her scooter was a nightmare. She kept on moving forward slightly then reversing full speed back into the seats. I got my fingers pinched no less than six times. About twelve years later we were finally ready to get the show on the road. As soon as I start driving she starts screaming (howling). "what's the problem ma'am?" I ask. "It's too cold in here. My leg is frozen, I've got frostbite because of you! Turn on the fucking heat." she yells. It was September and about 16 degrees...not warm but definitely not cold enough to get frostbite!
At the next stop a man with a pointed goatee boards the bus. "You look like the devil" the scooter lady says. "What?!?" the man replies. "You're going to go to hell you know? You with your black t-shirt looking like the devil. God doesn't approve" she tells the man. The man pointedly ignores her. Smart. Not one to be deterred the woman continues her monologue. For about five minutes the woman continues to mock, rant, rave, preach, and accuse the poor man. Another man boards the bus and makes the mistake of sitting across from the scooter lady. "Well puppy, aren't you a cute one?" scooter lady says. Yes she did call him a puppy! Scooter lady then attempts to flirt with this man until the man finally leaves the bus.
Pulling into my stop in downtown where all of the high end prostitutes were talking and laughing while waiting for their next customer, scooter lady suddenly shouts out. "shut up you stupid hens!" About half a block later a taxi honks. "shut up you fucker" scooter lady yells. This basically went on for the next twenty blocks. Any time there was so much as a whisper, scooter lady would yell out shut up you (insert insult). Finally we get to her stop. She attempted to take the straps off her scooter without my assistance and got one stuck. I couldn't pull it out (it's like a seat belt, once it's halfway out you can't pull it out any further) and i couldn't get it between her armrest. After jiggling it for about five minutes (in the meantime, scooter lady took this opportunity to insult me in every possible way), I managed to release it. She then drove forward, straight into a seat. Reversing so quickly that I actually had to jump onto the seat to avoid getting my toes run over, scooter lady finally manages to exit the bus (instead of driving down the ramp, she chose to drive over the side). Meanwhile the entire bus cracked up when i did my acrobatic move to save my toes. All in all it was pretty funny, the entire bus load and myself laughed for blocks!
She managed to negotiate herself into the wheelchair spot. Moving from my seat, I got my first good look of her, as I went to strap her in. You know how sometimes old women wear lipstick smeared everywhere in the general area their mouth is in? Yeah, she had that going on as well as overly orange foundation, fake eyelashes and 1970's blue eyeshadow. I also noticed that she had a five o clock shadow happening. Now imagine the deepest most manliest, gravelly voice you've ever heard. Multiply it by ten and you've got her. Trying to get the straps onto her scooter was a nightmare. She kept on moving forward slightly then reversing full speed back into the seats. I got my fingers pinched no less than six times. About twelve years later we were finally ready to get the show on the road. As soon as I start driving she starts screaming (howling). "what's the problem ma'am?" I ask. "It's too cold in here. My leg is frozen, I've got frostbite because of you! Turn on the fucking heat." she yells. It was September and about 16 degrees...not warm but definitely not cold enough to get frostbite!
At the next stop a man with a pointed goatee boards the bus. "You look like the devil" the scooter lady says. "What?!?" the man replies. "You're going to go to hell you know? You with your black t-shirt looking like the devil. God doesn't approve" she tells the man. The man pointedly ignores her. Smart. Not one to be deterred the woman continues her monologue. For about five minutes the woman continues to mock, rant, rave, preach, and accuse the poor man. Another man boards the bus and makes the mistake of sitting across from the scooter lady. "Well puppy, aren't you a cute one?" scooter lady says. Yes she did call him a puppy! Scooter lady then attempts to flirt with this man until the man finally leaves the bus.
Pulling into my stop in downtown where all of the high end prostitutes were talking and laughing while waiting for their next customer, scooter lady suddenly shouts out. "shut up you stupid hens!" About half a block later a taxi honks. "shut up you fucker" scooter lady yells. This basically went on for the next twenty blocks. Any time there was so much as a whisper, scooter lady would yell out shut up you (insert insult). Finally we get to her stop. She attempted to take the straps off her scooter without my assistance and got one stuck. I couldn't pull it out (it's like a seat belt, once it's halfway out you can't pull it out any further) and i couldn't get it between her armrest. After jiggling it for about five minutes (in the meantime, scooter lady took this opportunity to insult me in every possible way), I managed to release it. She then drove forward, straight into a seat. Reversing so quickly that I actually had to jump onto the seat to avoid getting my toes run over, scooter lady finally manages to exit the bus (instead of driving down the ramp, she chose to drive over the side). Meanwhile the entire bus cracked up when i did my acrobatic move to save my toes. All in all it was pretty funny, the entire bus load and myself laughed for blocks!
How to ensure you'll get off at the stop you want.
There are only two reasons that I'll pull into a stop.
1. I see passengers waiting there.
2. Someone rings the bell.
The following scenario is one that occurs on an almost daily basis for me. I'll be cruising along when suddenly, I'll hear "Driver, you missed my stop"
Okay people, you have two jobs - ring the bell and push the doors. I think you forgot one of them! I'm not a mind reader, I don't know where you want to get off.
So please stop you're bitching because it's not my fault that you missed your stop.
1. I see passengers waiting there.
2. Someone rings the bell.
The following scenario is one that occurs on an almost daily basis for me. I'll be cruising along when suddenly, I'll hear "Driver, you missed my stop"
Okay people, you have two jobs - ring the bell and push the doors. I think you forgot one of them! I'm not a mind reader, I don't know where you want to get off.
So please stop you're bitching because it's not my fault that you missed your stop.
homelessness.
I drive six different routes every week and each one of these routes takes me through the worst part of the city - the downtown eastside. So needless to say, I have a fair bit of interaction with the homeless. I've even come to develop relationships with some of them. Names have been changed to protect the Innocent (and not so innocent). There's Fred, one of the nicest men I've ever met. He always brings me up to date on the current gossip happening in the area. It seems that he knows everyone and everyone's story. He is a tad absent minded as he forgets his wallet (that contains his yearly bus pass) on a daily basis. But all in all, he has a heart of gold. And there's Jane who shuffles on to the bus every Wednesday and Thursday, sits in the very back and sings her heart out.
I've come to the conclusion that the downtown east side isn't as dangerous as people think. Sure, there are a few rotten eggs out there, but most are harmless. It's all in how you deal with them. I try to treat every single person who boards my bus with respect. I'll listen to them, talk to them and give them a transfer if they need it. It's paid off. Most now respect me and when they have a bit of change, they throw it in the fare box. And if someone on the bus is insulting me or the way that I drive these people are the first ones to stand up for me. It's a nice feeling.
I understand the skepticism people have with this area. I often see tourists, maps in hand looking bewildered, lost and frightened in the east side. Why do all of the guide books recommend that folks visit this area? It's not pretty and it sure as hell doesn't make a good first impression! I should write my own guide book, that way people see the good side of the city. Although it isn't pretty, it is safer than a lot of other areas. The police station is right on the corner and the cops patrol the streets quite frequently. To be honest, I've had more problems with passengers in the so called rich neighbourhoods than I have had in the slums.
The other day I had a tourist get on my bus downtown. He wanted to get to a location on the other side of town. I assured him that he had the right bus and I'd announce his stop for him. In order to get there, I had to drive through the east side. He started off sitting at the back of the bus. The further we went, the further he moved forward, until he was standing right next to me. "Where are we? Are we going to be okay? I didn't realise that it would be this bad." he commented. "Don't worry, we'll be fine, I drive through here every night" I responded. "I don't see how you do it. No offense but you're a small girl and I'm scared shit less right now so I can't imagine what you feel." He said. "I know it looks bad, but it's all in your attitude. If you respect them, they'll respect you. I've never had a problem so far." I replied. "I can't take this. I'm getting off and going back to my hotel. This isn't safe." He told me. Okay, suit yourself. This isn't even that bad compared to other cities.
Tonight I pulled into my terminus stop (where I get my break) and a woman comes running up to the bus and starts pounding on the doors. I open them and let her in. "Thank you so much, those two drunks out there were harassing me and threatening me" she says. "Okay, I'll call security for you. Or if you'd rather the police?" I say. "No, I don't want to press charges, I just want them gone" she responds. So I make the call and request for someone to remove these two drunk twenty somethings from the bus stop. She then starts going on about how transit is so bad and the last bus driver let her off with these two drunks without caring about her safety. "It's because I'm native, they don't care about me" she tells me. "No. No one deserves to be harassed regardless of their race. Don't worry, someone is on their way." I tell her. I notice another driver waiting outside so I go out and chat with him, leaving the woman on the bus (with the doors shut, so the drunks can't harass her).
The drunks notice us talking and decide to come over and talk to us. One looked like he ran straight into a knife. He had a gash on his forehead that was dripping with blood. They stopped by us and attempted to say something but unfortunately with all of the alcohol they had consumed their tongue's weren't cooperating. It was all gibberish with lots of hand gestures. Eventually a supervisor arrived and escorted them off the premises. These guys were so drunk that if you touched them, they'd probably fall over. About an hour later, as I was walking home from the depot, I noticed that the police had arrested them. I figure they went across the street to the bar, got the shit kicked out of them by the bouncers who eventually got bored and called the cops.
I've come to the conclusion that the downtown east side isn't as dangerous as people think. Sure, there are a few rotten eggs out there, but most are harmless. It's all in how you deal with them. I try to treat every single person who boards my bus with respect. I'll listen to them, talk to them and give them a transfer if they need it. It's paid off. Most now respect me and when they have a bit of change, they throw it in the fare box. And if someone on the bus is insulting me or the way that I drive these people are the first ones to stand up for me. It's a nice feeling.
I understand the skepticism people have with this area. I often see tourists, maps in hand looking bewildered, lost and frightened in the east side. Why do all of the guide books recommend that folks visit this area? It's not pretty and it sure as hell doesn't make a good first impression! I should write my own guide book, that way people see the good side of the city. Although it isn't pretty, it is safer than a lot of other areas. The police station is right on the corner and the cops patrol the streets quite frequently. To be honest, I've had more problems with passengers in the so called rich neighbourhoods than I have had in the slums.
The other day I had a tourist get on my bus downtown. He wanted to get to a location on the other side of town. I assured him that he had the right bus and I'd announce his stop for him. In order to get there, I had to drive through the east side. He started off sitting at the back of the bus. The further we went, the further he moved forward, until he was standing right next to me. "Where are we? Are we going to be okay? I didn't realise that it would be this bad." he commented. "Don't worry, we'll be fine, I drive through here every night" I responded. "I don't see how you do it. No offense but you're a small girl and I'm scared shit less right now so I can't imagine what you feel." He said. "I know it looks bad, but it's all in your attitude. If you respect them, they'll respect you. I've never had a problem so far." I replied. "I can't take this. I'm getting off and going back to my hotel. This isn't safe." He told me. Okay, suit yourself. This isn't even that bad compared to other cities.
Tonight I pulled into my terminus stop (where I get my break) and a woman comes running up to the bus and starts pounding on the doors. I open them and let her in. "Thank you so much, those two drunks out there were harassing me and threatening me" she says. "Okay, I'll call security for you. Or if you'd rather the police?" I say. "No, I don't want to press charges, I just want them gone" she responds. So I make the call and request for someone to remove these two drunk twenty somethings from the bus stop. She then starts going on about how transit is so bad and the last bus driver let her off with these two drunks without caring about her safety. "It's because I'm native, they don't care about me" she tells me. "No. No one deserves to be harassed regardless of their race. Don't worry, someone is on their way." I tell her. I notice another driver waiting outside so I go out and chat with him, leaving the woman on the bus (with the doors shut, so the drunks can't harass her).
The drunks notice us talking and decide to come over and talk to us. One looked like he ran straight into a knife. He had a gash on his forehead that was dripping with blood. They stopped by us and attempted to say something but unfortunately with all of the alcohol they had consumed their tongue's weren't cooperating. It was all gibberish with lots of hand gestures. Eventually a supervisor arrived and escorted them off the premises. These guys were so drunk that if you touched them, they'd probably fall over. About an hour later, as I was walking home from the depot, I noticed that the police had arrested them. I figure they went across the street to the bar, got the shit kicked out of them by the bouncers who eventually got bored and called the cops.
If I could turn back time....
I do believe that I have one of the best jobs in the world especially after a night like tonight...
It all started downtown. I had a fairly full bus; every seat was taken and there were a few standees. As usual, the bum to paying passenger ratio was quite high. I had a woman and a man sitting next to each other in the two seats closest to the front. Their conversation started out normally enough (I can't help it, I like to eavesdrop). They were discussing love and life and whether or not they would change anything in the past. "Oh my God, that reminds me of that song by Cher." The woman said. Suddenly without warning and in perfect unison (albeit slightly off-key) they broke out into "If I could turn back time". When they got to the part in the chorus "If I could reach the stars" they both stood up and reached with one arm towards the ceiling of the bus. I was quite amazed. I mean breaking out into song is one thing but to have choreographed movements as well. WOW!! Most people on the bus, including myself, were enjoying the performance but there were a few hecklers in the back (I'll get back to these guys later) telling them to shut up and so on and so forth. Seriously, what are you guys complaining about? You're getting free entertainment on your ride home! After they finished the song, the man stood up and said "That was dedicated to our wonderful, beautiful bus driver who got us all home safely. I was touched. Honestly. I'm not being sarcastic, it was pretty cool to have a song dedicated to me!
I notice that a man has fallen asleep in the seat. Now understand that this happens a lot especially as the weather is starting to cool down. It's normal to have people get on and sleep on the bus; the shelters are full, it's cold out and they don't want to sleep on the street. Turning the corner the man falls out of the seat and into the aisle. "Oh my goodness. Are you okay?" I ask. He snores in response. A couple of stops later, another passenger wakes him up by stepping over him to exit the bus. "Wha? Where are we?" he asks. I tell him our exact location. "Shit. I wanted to get off about fifty blocks ago" He says. He exits the bus at the next stop and crosses the street to catch the bus back to his original destination. I just hope he didn't fall asleep again!
A little while later a woman comes up to the front of the bus and asks me how to get to some obscure street that I've never even heard of. "I'm sorry, ma'am but I don't know where that street is." I informed her. "But you're a bus driver" she replied. Why on earth does everyone think that bus driver's know everything. We don't. It's a large city, it's almost impossible for us to know everything. Well she ranted and raved for a while about how useless and incompetent I was. Finally she says "So I just take that train and it'll take me to that street?" "Yes. that train will get you there" I reply. I know, I'm a terrible person for lying to her but you have to understand that she was very drunk and scary looking. If I continued to tell her that I didn't know she probably would have snapped and spat in my face or something. So in that situation, I'm thinking more about my safety and how I can get this potential problem off my bus without a situation arising out of it.
Later on I start to smell weed. There are about five people on my bus at this point, including the two guys at the back that did NOT appreciate the impromptu singing we had. Looking in my mirror I see the guys passing a joint back and forth. Immediately I pull over and inform them that they cannot smoke on the bus. "Yeah, and what are you going to do about it bitch?" the one guy asks. Before I can even reply the guy's friend says "c'mon let's go. If the cops find me, I'm going back to jail." and then pulls his friend off the bus. Whew! I seem to have luck on my side tonight!
Continuing along, I notice on the side of the road, not one but two bumpers. One bumper, sure I can understand that, but two? How on earth did anyone lose both of their bumpers? Maybe they aren't even from the same car? But then why would the bumpers from two different cars be in the same location? hmmm... I'll save that mystery for scooby doo.
On my return trip, I stop and pick up one of my favorite bums. He gets on the bus with a cardboard box full of bouquets of red roses. "Oh, how nice, you brought me flowers" I joke. Actually, I thought of you immediately when I picked these up. You always give me a free ride and talk to me when no one else will, so I saved the most beautiful bunch for you." He tells me. "Really? Thank you." I reply. I then place the flowers on my dashboard so all of the other drivers will see them and be jealous. "I also wanted to make your boyfriend jealous" He jokes. Another passenger comes up and asks if he can have some flowers as well because he wants to impress his girlfriend. "I'll sell you a bouquet for five dollars" the bum says. "What? But you gave her a bunch for free" the man replies. "It's cuz she's pretty and you're not" the bum responds. Long story short, after much haggling the cheap man finally buys two bouquets for five dollars.
Getting back into the yard, I check my bus for lost property. To my amazement I find a hat, a bar menu, and three shirts. Now how did three people lose their shirts? Or a better question, how did I not notice three people exit the bus shirtless?
And that is why I drive a bus for a living. You don't get this kind of excitement with an office job. And people wonder how I survive without cable.
It all started downtown. I had a fairly full bus; every seat was taken and there were a few standees. As usual, the bum to paying passenger ratio was quite high. I had a woman and a man sitting next to each other in the two seats closest to the front. Their conversation started out normally enough (I can't help it, I like to eavesdrop). They were discussing love and life and whether or not they would change anything in the past. "Oh my God, that reminds me of that song by Cher." The woman said. Suddenly without warning and in perfect unison (albeit slightly off-key) they broke out into "If I could turn back time". When they got to the part in the chorus "If I could reach the stars" they both stood up and reached with one arm towards the ceiling of the bus. I was quite amazed. I mean breaking out into song is one thing but to have choreographed movements as well. WOW!! Most people on the bus, including myself, were enjoying the performance but there were a few hecklers in the back (I'll get back to these guys later) telling them to shut up and so on and so forth. Seriously, what are you guys complaining about? You're getting free entertainment on your ride home! After they finished the song, the man stood up and said "That was dedicated to our wonderful, beautiful bus driver who got us all home safely. I was touched. Honestly. I'm not being sarcastic, it was pretty cool to have a song dedicated to me!
I notice that a man has fallen asleep in the seat. Now understand that this happens a lot especially as the weather is starting to cool down. It's normal to have people get on and sleep on the bus; the shelters are full, it's cold out and they don't want to sleep on the street. Turning the corner the man falls out of the seat and into the aisle. "Oh my goodness. Are you okay?" I ask. He snores in response. A couple of stops later, another passenger wakes him up by stepping over him to exit the bus. "Wha? Where are we?" he asks. I tell him our exact location. "Shit. I wanted to get off about fifty blocks ago" He says. He exits the bus at the next stop and crosses the street to catch the bus back to his original destination. I just hope he didn't fall asleep again!
A little while later a woman comes up to the front of the bus and asks me how to get to some obscure street that I've never even heard of. "I'm sorry, ma'am but I don't know where that street is." I informed her. "But you're a bus driver" she replied. Why on earth does everyone think that bus driver's know everything. We don't. It's a large city, it's almost impossible for us to know everything. Well she ranted and raved for a while about how useless and incompetent I was. Finally she says "So I just take that train and it'll take me to that street?" "Yes. that train will get you there" I reply. I know, I'm a terrible person for lying to her but you have to understand that she was very drunk and scary looking. If I continued to tell her that I didn't know she probably would have snapped and spat in my face or something. So in that situation, I'm thinking more about my safety and how I can get this potential problem off my bus without a situation arising out of it.
Later on I start to smell weed. There are about five people on my bus at this point, including the two guys at the back that did NOT appreciate the impromptu singing we had. Looking in my mirror I see the guys passing a joint back and forth. Immediately I pull over and inform them that they cannot smoke on the bus. "Yeah, and what are you going to do about it bitch?" the one guy asks. Before I can even reply the guy's friend says "c'mon let's go. If the cops find me, I'm going back to jail." and then pulls his friend off the bus. Whew! I seem to have luck on my side tonight!
Continuing along, I notice on the side of the road, not one but two bumpers. One bumper, sure I can understand that, but two? How on earth did anyone lose both of their bumpers? Maybe they aren't even from the same car? But then why would the bumpers from two different cars be in the same location? hmmm... I'll save that mystery for scooby doo.
On my return trip, I stop and pick up one of my favorite bums. He gets on the bus with a cardboard box full of bouquets of red roses. "Oh, how nice, you brought me flowers" I joke. Actually, I thought of you immediately when I picked these up. You always give me a free ride and talk to me when no one else will, so I saved the most beautiful bunch for you." He tells me. "Really? Thank you." I reply. I then place the flowers on my dashboard so all of the other drivers will see them and be jealous. "I also wanted to make your boyfriend jealous" He jokes. Another passenger comes up and asks if he can have some flowers as well because he wants to impress his girlfriend. "I'll sell you a bouquet for five dollars" the bum says. "What? But you gave her a bunch for free" the man replies. "It's cuz she's pretty and you're not" the bum responds. Long story short, after much haggling the cheap man finally buys two bouquets for five dollars.
Getting back into the yard, I check my bus for lost property. To my amazement I find a hat, a bar menu, and three shirts. Now how did three people lose their shirts? Or a better question, how did I not notice three people exit the bus shirtless?
And that is why I drive a bus for a living. You don't get this kind of excitement with an office job. And people wonder how I survive without cable.
Why taxi's are like mosquitoes
Both are vital parts of the ecosystem. Mosquitoes relieve animals the burden of carrying too much blood, spread malaria, and generally irritate people. Taxi's relieve people the burden of carrying too much money, spread road rage, and generally irritate people.
I know that I shouldn't be so hard on them. They do have a tough job and they are in a sense my colleagues. We're all professional drivers but they just make it so easy for me to hate them. I know, hate is a strong word. Believe me I don't use it lightly. This is an opinion I have formed after many hours of driving alongside them. Here are a few of my reasons.
They never yield. In one of my previous posts I was complaining about how most cars don't yield to the bus well taxi's NEVER yield. In my entire history of driving I have witnessed two taxi's yield. Two. That's it. And there are a lot of taxi's in the city. Currently, I'm attempting to teach taxi driver's how it's done. What I do is when I'm at a stop and ready to pull out into traffic, I wait until a taxi shows up and I cut in front of him. Usually this results in him slamming on the brakes, swerving into the other lane (without signaling or shoulder checking), laying on the horn and giving me the finger. I really don't see why they react with such hostility. I'm doing them a favour by showing them it's not the end of the world to let a bus in front of them and they really are capable of doing it. It's kind of like trying to teach a cat to sit. Not impossible but incredibly difficult. I believe though with enough patience and perseverance I can do it.
They park wherever they want. They seem to believe that their hazard lights double as "park anywhere lights". A favorite haunt of theirs is bus stops. Even though there is a loading zone (they're loading people, I support them using it), or deserted street half a block ahead they still have to park smack dab in the middle of my stop. I've come to the conclusion that they must hate buses as much as we hate them so they do this to spite us. Of course whenever I honk at a taxi in order to get him to move, it works. He'll move up half a foot for me. Thanks. A friend of mine told me a story of what he does to taxi's in bus stops. He'll angle park in front of them, so they can't get out, put on his brakes and go outside and start checking to make sure all of the lights are working on the bus. Usually the taxi driver will get mad and start yelling at him to move. He'll reply with "Oh, I'm sorry but I'm going to be here a few more minutes. I guess you'll have to back up." As soon as the taxi starts reversing he'll hop back in the bus, and drive away, leaving the taxi driver irate. I haven't had the nerve to try this and to be honest, I don't know if I ever will. It seems a little bit too cruel for my standards.
Another place that they like to park is in the middle of the bus lane. You'll be cruising along at fifty clicks when suddenly there's a taxi parked in your lane. You'll honk but to no avail this guy will not budge. So now you have to switch lanes into heavy traffic, wait five minutes until you've passed the jerk and then switch back into your lane. It's irritating I tell you.
They neglect to follow the rules of the road. Turn signals they don't use them. U-turns, they make them illegally. They cut people off. They honk inappropriately. Red lights, they run them. I've seen taxi's driving the wrong way down a one way street or reversing a full city block on a major street.
This is just the tip of the ice burg folks. I could start a new blog on the stupid things I've seen taxi's do. But don't worry, I won't. This concludes my spiel on why taxi's are similar to mosquitoes. All in all, I'd take a mosquito over a taxi any day of the week.
I know that I shouldn't be so hard on them. They do have a tough job and they are in a sense my colleagues. We're all professional drivers but they just make it so easy for me to hate them. I know, hate is a strong word. Believe me I don't use it lightly. This is an opinion I have formed after many hours of driving alongside them. Here are a few of my reasons.
They never yield. In one of my previous posts I was complaining about how most cars don't yield to the bus well taxi's NEVER yield. In my entire history of driving I have witnessed two taxi's yield. Two. That's it. And there are a lot of taxi's in the city. Currently, I'm attempting to teach taxi driver's how it's done. What I do is when I'm at a stop and ready to pull out into traffic, I wait until a taxi shows up and I cut in front of him. Usually this results in him slamming on the brakes, swerving into the other lane (without signaling or shoulder checking), laying on the horn and giving me the finger. I really don't see why they react with such hostility. I'm doing them a favour by showing them it's not the end of the world to let a bus in front of them and they really are capable of doing it. It's kind of like trying to teach a cat to sit. Not impossible but incredibly difficult. I believe though with enough patience and perseverance I can do it.
They park wherever they want. They seem to believe that their hazard lights double as "park anywhere lights". A favorite haunt of theirs is bus stops. Even though there is a loading zone (they're loading people, I support them using it), or deserted street half a block ahead they still have to park smack dab in the middle of my stop. I've come to the conclusion that they must hate buses as much as we hate them so they do this to spite us. Of course whenever I honk at a taxi in order to get him to move, it works. He'll move up half a foot for me. Thanks. A friend of mine told me a story of what he does to taxi's in bus stops. He'll angle park in front of them, so they can't get out, put on his brakes and go outside and start checking to make sure all of the lights are working on the bus. Usually the taxi driver will get mad and start yelling at him to move. He'll reply with "Oh, I'm sorry but I'm going to be here a few more minutes. I guess you'll have to back up." As soon as the taxi starts reversing he'll hop back in the bus, and drive away, leaving the taxi driver irate. I haven't had the nerve to try this and to be honest, I don't know if I ever will. It seems a little bit too cruel for my standards.
Another place that they like to park is in the middle of the bus lane. You'll be cruising along at fifty clicks when suddenly there's a taxi parked in your lane. You'll honk but to no avail this guy will not budge. So now you have to switch lanes into heavy traffic, wait five minutes until you've passed the jerk and then switch back into your lane. It's irritating I tell you.
They neglect to follow the rules of the road. Turn signals they don't use them. U-turns, they make them illegally. They cut people off. They honk inappropriately. Red lights, they run them. I've seen taxi's driving the wrong way down a one way street or reversing a full city block on a major street.
This is just the tip of the ice burg folks. I could start a new blog on the stupid things I've seen taxi's do. But don't worry, I won't. This concludes my spiel on why taxi's are similar to mosquitoes. All in all, I'd take a mosquito over a taxi any day of the week.
Driving a bus, (almost) anyone can do it.
Getting to my terminus stop, I step outside the bus to stretch my legs a bit. Hearing a horn sound, I look up just in time to witness a BMW SUV cut off another car in order to get into the turning lane. As she turns, I wince as the back end bounces over the curb and comes within a coat of paint of grazing the lamp stand. Fascinated, I continue watching this woman as she attempts to parallel park. She sets up so incredibly improperly that it looked as though she were trying to back straight into the curb. Well lo and behold, that's actually what she did but she didn't stop there, she kept reversing until both rear tires were resting on the curb. She pulled forward and cranks the wheel hard and tries again. This time she was more parallel rather than perpendicular but it still wasn't enough as she backed over the curb again (only with one wheel though). At this point I checked my watch. 10:37. At 10:44 she finally manages to "park" the SUV. Now when I say park, I mean the car was mostly parallel with the curb and only about a metre and a half away.
The woman looks up, sees me and walks over. "Excuse me. Do you like being a bus driver?" she asked. "Yeah, I love it." I reply. "That's good to hear. I was thinking about being one because I like driving a lot. Since they seem to hire quite a few females, I figure I have a good chance. What kind of qualifications do they want?" she asked. I'm afraid at this point in the conversation my jaw dropped. Well for starters the ability to drive would be useful. "How old are you?" I asked. "Twenty" she said. Damn, I was hoping she was too young to be qualified. "Do you have a full license?" I asked. "No, I go for my test in another year" she replied. "Sorry, but you'll need to have a full license before you even apply and it is a six to twelve month hiring process. They do a very thorough back ground check." I told her. "Really? That sucks. I was hoping to have a job by next week." She said. "Why don't you try the mall, I'm sure there are lots of stores willing to hire you by next week" I said. "Oh, okay. I never even thought of that. Thanks." She said.
The woman looks up, sees me and walks over. "Excuse me. Do you like being a bus driver?" she asked. "Yeah, I love it." I reply. "That's good to hear. I was thinking about being one because I like driving a lot. Since they seem to hire quite a few females, I figure I have a good chance. What kind of qualifications do they want?" she asked. I'm afraid at this point in the conversation my jaw dropped. Well for starters the ability to drive would be useful. "How old are you?" I asked. "Twenty" she said. Damn, I was hoping she was too young to be qualified. "Do you have a full license?" I asked. "No, I go for my test in another year" she replied. "Sorry, but you'll need to have a full license before you even apply and it is a six to twelve month hiring process. They do a very thorough back ground check." I told her. "Really? That sucks. I was hoping to have a job by next week." She said. "Why don't you try the mall, I'm sure there are lots of stores willing to hire you by next week" I said. "Oh, okay. I never even thought of that. Thanks." She said.
The skateboarder
On my way through downtown, I spot a skateboarder in the lane ahead of me. Seeing as I had quite a bit of extra time I decide to slow down and let this guy cruise (ride? skate? I'm not sure of the correct terminology) along. Glancing behind him he notices me and moves over so I can pass him. Making eye contact, I wave thanks at him. As I pull up beside him he then gives me the finger. Heh? Where did that come from? "Cunt! Dyke! Bitch! Lesbian! Go to hell you nazi bus driver!" He yells at me. I respond by closing the window. This guy's anger towards me is wholly misplaced. I could have been a dick and honked at him to move but I didn't. I decided to be nice and he responds with hatred. It's these sort of situations that baffle me. You give someone kindness and they throw it back in your face.
Haunted bus?
Getting into my last stop of the evening, I unload the last of my passengers and do a walk thru to ensure there isn't any lost property. Seeing as the bus is empty and devoid of any interesting articles that someone has left behind, I hop back in the drivers seat and continue on my merry way back to the depot. A couple of blocks later I hear the bell chime. Confused I look down at my dashboard and see that indeed, the next stop light is illuminated. I pull into the next stop and check the bus once again for forgotten passengers. I am greeted with an empty bus. Electrical malfunction or bus possession?
Sorry, it's another taxi rant.
My piece of work for this evening consisted of approximately four hours of actual driving time. Anyone care to take a guess as to how many taxi's I honked at that were parked in bus stops during that time? Did you guess seven? Because that's how many there were. I realise it's Friday night and it's really busy for them but it's also really busy for us. Our service is significantly slower when we have to wait for a taxi to get out of our spot. If you're a taxi driver and you're reading this, I have a message for you. STOP PARKING/LOADING/UNLOADING IN BUS STOPS!!!!! And I'm not the only bus driver pissed off at you guys, every other driver I know also hates you. Sometimes I wish that I had rocket launchers mounted on the front of the bus....
On my last run of the evening I lost my poles (I was driving a trolley. The poles run on the overhead wires from which we get our power source). There are a variety of reasons for why the poles occasionally come off (I'll write more about the mechanics of trolleys in another rant). In my case, I went through a finicky switch where trolley's lose their poles as often as they stay on. Now this switch is located on a major six lane road and it happened at about 1:30am so needless to say it was quite dark out. I donned my hi vis safety vest and went outside the bus to reattach my poles. There was a fair bit of traffic at this point but most cars saw me and the bus with the hazard lights on and switched into the far lane. That is except for one car...a taxi. I was looking up trying to line the poles up with the wire (of course it was pouring rain at the time, so it made it rather difficult to see clearly) when I hear a car approaching. I look back just in time to see/feel a taxi speed by me. He must have been doing about seventy kmh. He came so close to me that the side of his car actually brushed my pant leg. This honestly was one of the scariest moments of my life. I'd never been that close to being hit by a car before. Luckily I survived unscathed. And I'm still alive to tell anyone who will listen how terrible taxi drivers are.
On my last run of the evening I lost my poles (I was driving a trolley. The poles run on the overhead wires from which we get our power source). There are a variety of reasons for why the poles occasionally come off (I'll write more about the mechanics of trolleys in another rant). In my case, I went through a finicky switch where trolley's lose their poles as often as they stay on. Now this switch is located on a major six lane road and it happened at about 1:30am so needless to say it was quite dark out. I donned my hi vis safety vest and went outside the bus to reattach my poles. There was a fair bit of traffic at this point but most cars saw me and the bus with the hazard lights on and switched into the far lane. That is except for one car...a taxi. I was looking up trying to line the poles up with the wire (of course it was pouring rain at the time, so it made it rather difficult to see clearly) when I hear a car approaching. I look back just in time to see/feel a taxi speed by me. He must have been doing about seventy kmh. He came so close to me that the side of his car actually brushed my pant leg. This honestly was one of the scariest moments of my life. I'd never been that close to being hit by a car before. Luckily I survived unscathed. And I'm still alive to tell anyone who will listen how terrible taxi drivers are.
Yeah, I am a bitch part 2
It's my last run of the evening and I only had four teenagers on the bus. Like most teenagers these ones weren't the brightest crayons in the box. When they got on the bus they were discussing which stop they needed to get off at and they had asked me how far it was. I told them it was about ten minutes away. A little while later the bell chimes. Okay, maybe they aren't all getting off at the same stop. I pull into the stop and no one gets off. Ha Ha. Very funny. You got me. I pull away when the bell chimes again. Maybe they just rang the bell for the wrong stop and they were too embarrassed to say anything. I pull in and once again, no one gets off. I look in the riot mirror and see them laughing hysterically. God, you guys are hilarious. I can't stop laughing. As I start driving again, the bell chimes again. "Is someone actually getting off the bus or am I just pulling into stops for practice?" I ask. "Yeah, someones getting off here, don't worry" they tell me. Anyone want to take a guess as to what happened? Yeah, I pull in and no one gets off. Surprise, surprise. I don't know why I even bother listening to teens. Continuing along, I continue to reset the chime as soon as they ring it. Eventually they realize that I'm not going to fall for it again and they stop ringing the bell. A few minutes later we approach the stop that I know they're getting off at. I hear the bell ring and I keep driving. I pass about four bus stops before one of the teens finally comes up to the front to tell me I've missed the stop. "Oh, I am so terribly sorry, I didn't even hear the bell." I say. For some strange reason this guy seemed to think I was being genuine and honestly didn't realise that they wanted off the bus. I pull into the stop and let them off to begin their long walk home. Moral of the story, don't fuck with me because I have the power to decide when to stop and let you off!
Yeah, I am a bitch
A few days ago I pull into a stop and load up all the passengers. As I'm pulling out, I spot a man running for the bus. Seeing as it's quite late and the next bus won't come for another half an hour, I cancel my turn signal and pull back into the stop. I guess the guy didn't think that I was going to stop for him because as I open my door all I hear is the guy yelling "Fuck you! Fuck you, you stupid bitch!" Looking in my mirror I see him throwing garbage at the bus. He then realises that I've stopped for him and starts running towards the bus. In the meantime, I'm thinking, Do I really want someone this angry and violent on my bus? I'm doing him a favour and he's treating me like this...I don't think so. "Don't swear at me and don't throw stuff at my bus!" I tell him. As he approaches the front doors, I shut them in his face, give him a huge smile, a sarcastic wave and drive away without him.
Sir or ma'am?
Let me just start off by stating the overly obvious. Men are called sir and women are called ma'am. I know, it's not that hard of a concept to grasp; yet so many seem seem unable to get it.
The other day I pull into a stop and let everyone off. As I'm pulling away I hear from the back of the bus "Sir, open the rear doors". I pull back into the stop and reply "It's ma'am and the rear doors were open. You just need to push the handle." A little while later as I'm pulling out of another stop I hear "Sir, You're forgetting someone". I reply "Once again, it's not sir, it's ma'am and once I have my turn signal on and I'm pulling away, I don't stop. It's dangerous and confusing to the traffic around me." Later as the guy gets off the bus he says "Thanks for the ride sir, have a great day". Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Do I look that much like a man, or is he just tormenting me?
The other day I pull into a stop and let everyone off. As I'm pulling away I hear from the back of the bus "Sir, open the rear doors". I pull back into the stop and reply "It's ma'am and the rear doors were open. You just need to push the handle." A little while later as I'm pulling out of another stop I hear "Sir, You're forgetting someone". I reply "Once again, it's not sir, it's ma'am and once I have my turn signal on and I'm pulling away, I don't stop. It's dangerous and confusing to the traffic around me." Later as the guy gets off the bus he says "Thanks for the ride sir, have a great day". Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Do I look that much like a man, or is he just tormenting me?
Cute kids
This happened last summer. Two teachers got on the bus with their preschool group of about twenty children. They settled themselves in the back of the bus. The kids decided that they should sing some songs. Unfortunately their repertoire of songs wasn't very large. They started out with twinkle, twinkle little star and then moved on to happy birthday. They ended up singing happy birthday to everyone on the bus before disembarking. It was adorable having all of these five year olds sing their hearts out. On the downside, I ended up having happy birthday stuck in my head the remainder of the day. I didn't even know it was possible to have that song stuck in your head.
Kudos
Driving down the street just after one in the morning I come to a stop at a green light. Well the three taxi's in front of me stopped first and I had no choice but to follow suit. I try to look past the taxi's to see what the hold up is but am unable to see anything. The first driver gets out of his car walks around the front, gets back in and drives away. As the two remaining taxi's move forward I get a glimpse of what's going on.
A block away is a pub, notorious for their beer but not in a good way. Anyone who drinks this vile liquid, that they claim to be beer, ends up drunk in such a way that they do things that are above and beyond drunken stupidity. Believe me, I know this for a fact as I have consumed this not so tasty beverage and consequentially have committed some of the dumbest acts known to man. That being said whenever something in the area goes awry it's usually the fault of this beer.
The drunkards (No, I didn't see it happen and yes I am assuming it was them and not magical faeries) took it upon themselves to block off the street with various items they had scavenged from the construction site next to the pub. The first taxi driver moved two pylons, leaving enough space for his car to fit through before taking off. Seeing as I'm only five minutes behind schedule, I throw on the parking brake and hazard lights, ask my passengers to stay put on the bus and hop off to remove this road block.
It's a good thing that I didn't go with my initial idea of just driving through the pylons as there were several items that could do damage to my bus had I tried to drive through them. Another taxi driver and myself worked harmoniously together (while cursing the bastards who did this...under our breath of course) and moved five more pylons, a big orange barricade (like the size of the cement ones but plastic), a few pieces of rebar, and a roll of metal fencing material.
So kudos to you guys. You blocked traffic. You held everyone up. And you forced me to do some weight lifting.
A block away is a pub, notorious for their beer but not in a good way. Anyone who drinks this vile liquid, that they claim to be beer, ends up drunk in such a way that they do things that are above and beyond drunken stupidity. Believe me, I know this for a fact as I have consumed this not so tasty beverage and consequentially have committed some of the dumbest acts known to man. That being said whenever something in the area goes awry it's usually the fault of this beer.
The drunkards (No, I didn't see it happen and yes I am assuming it was them and not magical faeries) took it upon themselves to block off the street with various items they had scavenged from the construction site next to the pub. The first taxi driver moved two pylons, leaving enough space for his car to fit through before taking off. Seeing as I'm only five minutes behind schedule, I throw on the parking brake and hazard lights, ask my passengers to stay put on the bus and hop off to remove this road block.
It's a good thing that I didn't go with my initial idea of just driving through the pylons as there were several items that could do damage to my bus had I tried to drive through them. Another taxi driver and myself worked harmoniously together (while cursing the bastards who did this...under our breath of course) and moved five more pylons, a big orange barricade (like the size of the cement ones but plastic), a few pieces of rebar, and a roll of metal fencing material.
So kudos to you guys. You blocked traffic. You held everyone up. And you forced me to do some weight lifting.
The circus
What do you think of when you hear the word circus? Large crowds? Bright costumes? People performing amazing tricks? Well my route contained all of these things. At the end of the night I was wondering if I had mistakenly joined the circus.
I pick up my bus on the road and usually it shows up a couple of minutes late. Tonight was no exception. As the driver pulled into the stop I saw that he had the people crammed on there like sardines. I swear there were people pressed up against the front windshield. Being as it's a fairly major stop about half of the passengers disembarked. One woman got off carrying about four hula hoops. I'm not too sure what she was doing with that many. Perhaps she's a street performer.
The driver got off and I took control of the wheel. At the next stop one woman gets on and I have trouble keeping a straight face. It was the first week of October, closer to Halloween than say Christmas, but not that close. This woman was wearing a lavender jester outfit with an ankle length cloak. Perched atop her head is a matching lavender witches hat complete with about 20 silk flowers and a two foot long feather (also lavender). "Wow! You sure are colourful. Are you on your way to a party?" I ask. "Nope. I just finished work" She replies. With no further explanation she heads to the back of the bus and grabs a seat.
Continuing along I pull into a stop downtown where a man in a wheelchair awaits me. I put on my hazards and start lowering the bus, before I can put out the ramp he interrupts me. "Don't worry about all of that jazz, I can manage" He says. He does manage, quite well. He takes a run and in one smooth motion hops his entire wheelchair onto the bus. Holy shit, this guy's good. Little did I know he had more tricks up his sleeve. When we get to his stop I ask if he wants me to put out the ramp for him. "Nope, I don't need no ramp and don't lower the bus this time" He tells me. He then gathers speed and flies out the door. He got about two feet of air. He ends up landing on two wheels and does a one eighty so that he's facing me. "How'd you like that?" he asks. He takes off before I can say anything but I could smell the burnt rubber he left on the pavement.
For about an hour nothing out of the ordinary happened and I was starting to accept the fact that I was just driving a bus and not enjoying a circus performance. Glancing out my window I notice a man walking down the street. Something seems to be amiss but I can't quite put my finger on it. Suddenly it hits me. I'm looking at a stark naked man. He didn't even have socks on his feet. I immediately look out the other window, hoping that no one else on the bus noticed the nudist. Not even two seconds later I hear a gaggle of girls start shrieking. "Oh my god, he's naked! HA HA HA! And it's cold out, no wonder I thought it was a woman at first!"
Maybe I am in a circus???
And the highlights of the rest of the night...A group of guys grunting while crushing beer cans on their chest. And a creepy lady giving me homemade candy....She reminded me of the witch who gave snow white the poisonous apple.
I pick up my bus on the road and usually it shows up a couple of minutes late. Tonight was no exception. As the driver pulled into the stop I saw that he had the people crammed on there like sardines. I swear there were people pressed up against the front windshield. Being as it's a fairly major stop about half of the passengers disembarked. One woman got off carrying about four hula hoops. I'm not too sure what she was doing with that many. Perhaps she's a street performer.
The driver got off and I took control of the wheel. At the next stop one woman gets on and I have trouble keeping a straight face. It was the first week of October, closer to Halloween than say Christmas, but not that close. This woman was wearing a lavender jester outfit with an ankle length cloak. Perched atop her head is a matching lavender witches hat complete with about 20 silk flowers and a two foot long feather (also lavender). "Wow! You sure are colourful. Are you on your way to a party?" I ask. "Nope. I just finished work" She replies. With no further explanation she heads to the back of the bus and grabs a seat.
Continuing along I pull into a stop downtown where a man in a wheelchair awaits me. I put on my hazards and start lowering the bus, before I can put out the ramp he interrupts me. "Don't worry about all of that jazz, I can manage" He says. He does manage, quite well. He takes a run and in one smooth motion hops his entire wheelchair onto the bus. Holy shit, this guy's good. Little did I know he had more tricks up his sleeve. When we get to his stop I ask if he wants me to put out the ramp for him. "Nope, I don't need no ramp and don't lower the bus this time" He tells me. He then gathers speed and flies out the door. He got about two feet of air. He ends up landing on two wheels and does a one eighty so that he's facing me. "How'd you like that?" he asks. He takes off before I can say anything but I could smell the burnt rubber he left on the pavement.
For about an hour nothing out of the ordinary happened and I was starting to accept the fact that I was just driving a bus and not enjoying a circus performance. Glancing out my window I notice a man walking down the street. Something seems to be amiss but I can't quite put my finger on it. Suddenly it hits me. I'm looking at a stark naked man. He didn't even have socks on his feet. I immediately look out the other window, hoping that no one else on the bus noticed the nudist. Not even two seconds later I hear a gaggle of girls start shrieking. "Oh my god, he's naked! HA HA HA! And it's cold out, no wonder I thought it was a woman at first!"
Maybe I am in a circus???
And the highlights of the rest of the night...A group of guys grunting while crushing beer cans on their chest. And a creepy lady giving me homemade candy....She reminded me of the witch who gave snow white the poisonous apple.
Suicidal skunks.
Arriving at one of my timing point slightly ahead of schedule, I park the bus and sit back in my seat to wait out the required two minutes. A woman standing at the front of the bus points out a skunk wandering down the sidewalk. "I hope he doesn't go out on the road" she comments. Seeing as my time is up, I release the brakes and pull out of the stop. I spy the skunk hanging out where it's safe on the sidewalk. Good. Maybe animals aren't as dumb as I thought. When I'm about five metres from the skunk he chooses to try and run across the road. I end up just missing him. The overenthusiastic animal lover at the front sobs "You just about hit the poor skunk"
We're trained to run over animals. I know that sounds bad but think about it for a minute. I have a bus full of people that could potentially fall and injure themselves if I swerve suddenly. Also I have to be aware of the other traffic on the road. Of course, I'm not going to try to run over an animal, I will do everything in my power to avoid hitting it but when it comes down to it, my passengers and other motorists are my number one priority. I mean if it were a larger animal, say a moose, I wouldn't hit it but smaller animals...it's just like going over a speed bump. This skunk probably eats garbage anyways. I'd be doing someone a favour by hitting it, they wouldn't have to clean up the trash it got into overnight.
On my return trip about two miles from where I first spotted the skunk another (or perhaps the same one) darted out in front of the bus. Luckily my bus empty and the streets devoid of any traffic so I was able to miss him easily. Hmmm. That's odd, I've hardly ever seen a skunk in the city and tonight I see two.
About an hour and a half later on the other side of the city I just about collide, yet again, with a skunk. What the hell is going on here? Three skunks running in front of my bus in less than four hours? Then it hits me. I know what's going on here. These skunks are part of a cult and their leader has promised eternal life if everyone can kill themselves by midnight. Mystery solved.
We're trained to run over animals. I know that sounds bad but think about it for a minute. I have a bus full of people that could potentially fall and injure themselves if I swerve suddenly. Also I have to be aware of the other traffic on the road. Of course, I'm not going to try to run over an animal, I will do everything in my power to avoid hitting it but when it comes down to it, my passengers and other motorists are my number one priority. I mean if it were a larger animal, say a moose, I wouldn't hit it but smaller animals...it's just like going over a speed bump. This skunk probably eats garbage anyways. I'd be doing someone a favour by hitting it, they wouldn't have to clean up the trash it got into overnight.
On my return trip about two miles from where I first spotted the skunk another (or perhaps the same one) darted out in front of the bus. Luckily my bus empty and the streets devoid of any traffic so I was able to miss him easily. Hmmm. That's odd, I've hardly ever seen a skunk in the city and tonight I see two.
About an hour and a half later on the other side of the city I just about collide, yet again, with a skunk. What the hell is going on here? Three skunks running in front of my bus in less than four hours? Then it hits me. I know what's going on here. These skunks are part of a cult and their leader has promised eternal life if everyone can kill themselves by midnight. Mystery solved.
Heh?
I pull into a stop and a woman gets on the bus, digging through her purse to find her pass. She glances up at me and immediately starts backing off the bus. "Ummm. It's okay, I'll wait for the next bus" She says. "You realise that it's not going to come for about half an hour?" I ask. "Uhh, Yeah that's okay. I'd prefer to wait." she responds. I'm not too sure what her issue was. Most people that refuse to get on are males that have a problem with a female driver and usually they will tell it to my face. It's very rare (I've only had it happen once) where a female will refuse to ride with me because of my sex. It's entirely possible that I scared her off for a different reason altogether. My lip ring? The fact that I look like I'm sixteen years old? Who knows. Her loss.
Part 2:
Remember the post where the woman refused to get on my bus for some reason? Well tonight I pull into a stop and she's there. Once again she walks to the doors of my bus, looks at me and says "Umm, I think I'll just wait for the next bus". Why on earth would anyone want to wait in the cold rain for half an hour?
Part 2:
Remember the post where the woman refused to get on my bus for some reason? Well tonight I pull into a stop and she's there. Once again she walks to the doors of my bus, looks at me and says "Umm, I think I'll just wait for the next bus". Why on earth would anyone want to wait in the cold rain for half an hour?
Show a little respect, that's all I ask.
It's 2008, a time, where for the most part, males and females have equal opportunity. We're allowed to vote, we can work in any vocation we choose to, and we have the same rights as our male counterparts. I realize that males and females are created differently. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Myself, I'm not a strong person - I barely passed the physical test to be a bus driver (lifting fifty pounds and five push ups) but other women I know posses the strength to do hard, physical labour that some men aren't even capable of. It's just a matter of finding out what you're good at and enjoy doing. I'm lucky, I've found my niche. I'm a good driver and love working with the public. It's a wonderful time to be a female considering the fact that about a hundred years ago we weren't even allowed to vote. That being said, it frustrates me to no end when I run into someone who lives in the past; the type of person who believes that females were just put on this earth to cook, clean and produce offspring.
The company that currently employs me has quite a few female drivers. Out of over 3500 drivers, I'd say at least one third are female. So it's not a novelty to see a woman driving a bus in this city and yet so many people treat me as though I were a two headed giraffe or something. Seeing as I already receive so much unwanted attention, I do my best to play down my sex appeal as much as possible. I rarely wear make up to work, my hair is usually in a pony tail, my clothes are not skin tight and I make sure my shirt is always buttoned up well past my cleavage. During the summer months I opt to not wear the shorts the company provides (seeing as they cover less than half of my thigh) and choose instead the more demure capri's. Even with me trying to show as little skin as possible, I still am constantly bombarded with men (and occasionally women) acting inappropriately towards me.
On my way to work today, walking down the street in my ill fitting uniform (it's too big on me.) and my men's winter jacket (also way too big) I bump into a man about the same age as me. He looks me up and down and comments "On your way to work?" "Yup" I reply. "You work at the gas station?" he asks. Pointing at the rather large logo embroidered into my jacket I say "No, I'm a bus driver." "Oh, that must suck. Are you going to go back to school so you can get a real job?" he asks. "I've been to school and this is my real job" I reply. This isn't the first time I've heard this question. Being a bus driver is a great job. It pays well, it's challenging, I have amazing benefits and it's a blast. "Hey, has anyone ever told you you're beautiful?" he asks. Yes. A million times. It's the men that tell me I'm smart that get my attention. "Thank you" I reply. "No, I mean it. You're one of the hottest chicks I've seen" he says. Glancing at my watch, I reply "Thanks again, but I'm late for work. See ya." "Goodbye, gorgeous" he shouts after me as I'm walking away. I may be single but I'm not desperate. I'm quite picky about the guys I date.
Later as I'm waiting to pick up my bus I notice this older (55-60yrs old) east indian man staring at me. Making eye contact he approaches me and asks when the bus will arrive. I tell him in about ten minutes. "Oh, that is very good, you are very nice. Are you going on that bus?" he asks. "No, I'm grabbing the one behind" I say. "Where do you live?" he asks. "That's information you don't need to know." I say. By this time, I was starting to get a little disturbed, he kept edging closer and closer to me until i was pinned between the wall and the mailbox. Looking around, I see that my exit is almost completely blocked and the closest people are about half a block away; too far to notice if anything happens. Suddenly he grabs my face and tries to pull it towards his telling me I'm beautiful. I wrench my self free from his grip and start pushing past him so I can escape. He grabs my arm and says "If you don't mind, would you like to come back to my house and play with me?" "NO!" I reply and with renewed force push past him and run into a shop to wait where there are people and proper lighting.
Slightly shaken up I decide to call dispatch not because I'm traumatized but just to warn them of this man who's going to get on the bus. If it's another female operator, I don't want her going through the same experience as me and who knows, this guy could be a pedophile or a rapist. I get through to dispatch and explain what happened. The dispatcher responds immediately "Stay in the shop and I'm going to keep you on the line until security arrives." Within two minutes I see the security car pull up and I hang up the phone and go outside. The three guards ask me what happened and get a description. A supervisor had shown up by this point and security left me with him telling him not to take his eyes off me while they searched the surrounding area. Within five minutes two more supervisors and another security car had arrived. They asked me if I was okay to drive and if I needed counselling. "Nah, I'm fine." I reply.
It's so refreshing to finally be working for a company that treats their employees well. They take this sort of situation very seriously and their first priority is their drivers. So many people ask me if I'm scared driving at night through rough neighbourhoods and I always reply that I feel perfectly safe. It's the support team that I have and all of the safety measures in place that makes me feel as though I'm not alone. All of the buses are tracked by GPS so they know where we are at any given time. They are also equipped with an assault button, cameras and microphones that way dispatch can see and hear what's happening on the bus.
A couple of hours later security meets me at one of my stops just to see if I'm doing okay. They tell me they got a tip from another driver about this guy and now know his regular route and where he works. As they were telling me this, they had another security unit parked at the stop where the man normally gets on, ready to intercept him. Getting back to the yard a few drivers ask how my night was. "Well it started off kind of weird but after that it was fine" I say. "Were you the driver who got assaulted while waiting for your bus?" one guy asks. "No, I wasn't actually assaulted." I say and explain the whole story. "He touched you, that's assault." the other driver says. Shrugging my shoulders I say "Well I guess I was then." It's amazing how fast the rumours get started!
To all of the men out there, please stop looking at me like a sex object and let me do my job.
The company that currently employs me has quite a few female drivers. Out of over 3500 drivers, I'd say at least one third are female. So it's not a novelty to see a woman driving a bus in this city and yet so many people treat me as though I were a two headed giraffe or something. Seeing as I already receive so much unwanted attention, I do my best to play down my sex appeal as much as possible. I rarely wear make up to work, my hair is usually in a pony tail, my clothes are not skin tight and I make sure my shirt is always buttoned up well past my cleavage. During the summer months I opt to not wear the shorts the company provides (seeing as they cover less than half of my thigh) and choose instead the more demure capri's. Even with me trying to show as little skin as possible, I still am constantly bombarded with men (and occasionally women) acting inappropriately towards me.
On my way to work today, walking down the street in my ill fitting uniform (it's too big on me.) and my men's winter jacket (also way too big) I bump into a man about the same age as me. He looks me up and down and comments "On your way to work?" "Yup" I reply. "You work at the gas station?" he asks. Pointing at the rather large logo embroidered into my jacket I say "No, I'm a bus driver." "Oh, that must suck. Are you going to go back to school so you can get a real job?" he asks. "I've been to school and this is my real job" I reply. This isn't the first time I've heard this question. Being a bus driver is a great job. It pays well, it's challenging, I have amazing benefits and it's a blast. "Hey, has anyone ever told you you're beautiful?" he asks. Yes. A million times. It's the men that tell me I'm smart that get my attention. "Thank you" I reply. "No, I mean it. You're one of the hottest chicks I've seen" he says. Glancing at my watch, I reply "Thanks again, but I'm late for work. See ya." "Goodbye, gorgeous" he shouts after me as I'm walking away. I may be single but I'm not desperate. I'm quite picky about the guys I date.
Later as I'm waiting to pick up my bus I notice this older (55-60yrs old) east indian man staring at me. Making eye contact he approaches me and asks when the bus will arrive. I tell him in about ten minutes. "Oh, that is very good, you are very nice. Are you going on that bus?" he asks. "No, I'm grabbing the one behind" I say. "Where do you live?" he asks. "That's information you don't need to know." I say. By this time, I was starting to get a little disturbed, he kept edging closer and closer to me until i was pinned between the wall and the mailbox. Looking around, I see that my exit is almost completely blocked and the closest people are about half a block away; too far to notice if anything happens. Suddenly he grabs my face and tries to pull it towards his telling me I'm beautiful. I wrench my self free from his grip and start pushing past him so I can escape. He grabs my arm and says "If you don't mind, would you like to come back to my house and play with me?" "NO!" I reply and with renewed force push past him and run into a shop to wait where there are people and proper lighting.
Slightly shaken up I decide to call dispatch not because I'm traumatized but just to warn them of this man who's going to get on the bus. If it's another female operator, I don't want her going through the same experience as me and who knows, this guy could be a pedophile or a rapist. I get through to dispatch and explain what happened. The dispatcher responds immediately "Stay in the shop and I'm going to keep you on the line until security arrives." Within two minutes I see the security car pull up and I hang up the phone and go outside. The three guards ask me what happened and get a description. A supervisor had shown up by this point and security left me with him telling him not to take his eyes off me while they searched the surrounding area. Within five minutes two more supervisors and another security car had arrived. They asked me if I was okay to drive and if I needed counselling. "Nah, I'm fine." I reply.
It's so refreshing to finally be working for a company that treats their employees well. They take this sort of situation very seriously and their first priority is their drivers. So many people ask me if I'm scared driving at night through rough neighbourhoods and I always reply that I feel perfectly safe. It's the support team that I have and all of the safety measures in place that makes me feel as though I'm not alone. All of the buses are tracked by GPS so they know where we are at any given time. They are also equipped with an assault button, cameras and microphones that way dispatch can see and hear what's happening on the bus.
A couple of hours later security meets me at one of my stops just to see if I'm doing okay. They tell me they got a tip from another driver about this guy and now know his regular route and where he works. As they were telling me this, they had another security unit parked at the stop where the man normally gets on, ready to intercept him. Getting back to the yard a few drivers ask how my night was. "Well it started off kind of weird but after that it was fine" I say. "Were you the driver who got assaulted while waiting for your bus?" one guy asks. "No, I wasn't actually assaulted." I say and explain the whole story. "He touched you, that's assault." the other driver says. Shrugging my shoulders I say "Well I guess I was then." It's amazing how fast the rumours get started!
To all of the men out there, please stop looking at me like a sex object and let me do my job.
Oops!
So I just about got into an accident earlier today. I know exactly what you're thinking....What?? No way! She drives around all day and just about gets into an accident. Pshht, and she calls herself a professional.
It was a fairly close call, and I will admit that if an accident had occurred it would have been solely my fault. By solely I mean it was my fault for assuming (wrongly) that the other driver would actually drive as the rules of the road dictate. Allow me to elaborate.
At a bus stop, I hear sirens; so naturally I wait until the rescue truck and ambulance pass me before I pull back into traffic. About two blocks later I approach the scene of the accident. A car had been t-boned in an intersection (Seriously people, pay more attention!! You don't even understand how many avoidable accidents I've seen happen in intersections) leaving only one lane open. After waiting a few moments, it's our turn to go. The car ahead of me starts moving forward and as we're nearing forty kmh they suddenly decide to slow down to an almost standstill so they can get a better look at the accident. Stupid, fuckin' rubbernecker. Goddamn it, move your ass! I was just so happy to be moving again, looking ahead to the next bus stop and NOT expecting this idiot to slam on his brakes in front of me, that much to my chagrin I ended up coming within half a foot of this guy's bumper.
The thing is, I should have known better, people are naturally curious; I really shouldn't have expected this guy to drive at a reasonable speed past an accident. But I did, I made a mistake. I'm just lucky, I didn't hit him. Although, that would have been slightly funny to have two separate accidents in the same intersection. And who knows it could have been like a chain reaction and our accident causing another and another and another....
It was a fairly close call, and I will admit that if an accident had occurred it would have been solely my fault. By solely I mean it was my fault for assuming (wrongly) that the other driver would actually drive as the rules of the road dictate. Allow me to elaborate.
At a bus stop, I hear sirens; so naturally I wait until the rescue truck and ambulance pass me before I pull back into traffic. About two blocks later I approach the scene of the accident. A car had been t-boned in an intersection (Seriously people, pay more attention!! You don't even understand how many avoidable accidents I've seen happen in intersections) leaving only one lane open. After waiting a few moments, it's our turn to go. The car ahead of me starts moving forward and as we're nearing forty kmh they suddenly decide to slow down to an almost standstill so they can get a better look at the accident. Stupid, fuckin' rubbernecker. Goddamn it, move your ass! I was just so happy to be moving again, looking ahead to the next bus stop and NOT expecting this idiot to slam on his brakes in front of me, that much to my chagrin I ended up coming within half a foot of this guy's bumper.
The thing is, I should have known better, people are naturally curious; I really shouldn't have expected this guy to drive at a reasonable speed past an accident. But I did, I made a mistake. I'm just lucky, I didn't hit him. Although, that would have been slightly funny to have two separate accidents in the same intersection. And who knows it could have been like a chain reaction and our accident causing another and another and another....
Probation
My probation is finished. Complete. 900 driving hours done. This doesn't include on duty time, solely time where my butt was parked in the seat with my hands at ten and two on the steering wheel. I can't even begin to express how utterly relieved and happy I am to have put this probation behind me (I felt as though I were walking on eggshells). For a while, I wasn't even sure if I were going to make it through.
While on probation, the company can fire me for any reason whatsoever and the union has their hands tied; they can't do shit all for you. But once you're finished, it's virtually impossible to get canned. Basically the only way it can be done is if you're caught stealing from the company, lose your license or have too many preventables (I know some people who have had five preventable collisions in less than a year and they're still here). We have a strong union and they'll fight hard for you.
Most drivers fill out about two -three incident reports a year. I've been here since the summer and I've filled out countless reports. My total is ten. Yeah, you read that correctly ten in five months. I'm lucky though, I haven't had any preventable collisions; I just have bad luck - things seem to happen to me.
I've been passed by two trolleys who forgot that you can't pass another trolley and they've knocked my poles off and broken either the pole or the rope.
I had my poles hit by a semi and had him knock the poles off, and break my rope. The rope ended up wrapped around two sets of overhead wire, forcing all of the trolleys to pull their poles to get past me.
There was a man who got off my bus, jaywalked across the street and got smoked by a car right in front of my windshield.
I once lost my poles on a turn and had one stuck on a support wire. I don't know if you've ever seen a trolley lose it's poles, they come off with velocity. We ended up having to call the line crew to get the pole off the wire.
I had a drunk man somersault down the aisle of the bus when I started moving.
I've had a van hit me from behind and knock his mirror off. I've my mirror hit by a passing truck. And those are just some of the incidents I've had.
For a while, it seemed that I was in my supervisor's office every other week discussing some incident that I'd had. On top of all of that drama, I've missed quite a bit of work. I was sick for a while and then threw my back out again. While on probation, you should be showing your best side to the company. You have to prove to them that they were right in hiring you. Looking at my record, I would have canned me a while back. Luckily, I have an amazingly understanding supervisor who realised that underneath all the drama, I am a good employee. I think it also helped that I've had a few accommodations from passengers!
Growing up my idea of what I wanted to do when I grew up changed on an almost daily basis. I'm pretty sure I drove my parents and friend's mad with all of my new harebrained ideas. "I'll just go to this school and get this certificate/degree/diploma and then I'll be set. I'll be happy and rich and successful..." I don't think I've ever met anyone as flighty and indecisive as myself. I was just counting the jobs that I've had since I was sixteen (these don't include baby sitting or paper routes, and those three summers at the same place count as one) and the grand total is 22. Yeah, I've had 22 jobs in nine years.
I must say though having held job 22 for half a year now, I don't envision myself moving onto number 23 anytime soon. I've never once held a job that I've quite enjoyed so much. I can't believe that I've already accumulated 900 driving hours. It still feels like I've just started here.
Sure, I have bad days, everyone does, the important thing is that I have more good days than bad. I have built remarkable relationships with amazing people and not so remarkable relationships with some not so amazing people. I've had people turn my day around with a kind word and a smile and I've in turn done the same for others. I've seen things that I wished I hadn't (Like the junkie sitting at the bus stop sticking the needle into his vein. I was horrified and yet so transfixed, I couldn't pull my eyes away for the life of me. It was the most fascinatingly, repulsive thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It makes me both thankful that I'm not, nor have I ever been in his situation and at the same time ashamed for the fact that I'm clean, sober, have a good job, a roof over my head and enough to eat. I should be doing more to help them) and I've seen some amazing acts of generosity and kindness (The people who give up their seats for the elderly, the man in the wheelchair who opted to wait for the next bus because I was a few minutes late and he didn't want to make me later).
Being a bus driver can be an incredibly stressful job, if you let it. There's a joke that most bus drivers only get about six months of their retirement before croaking. Unfortunately it tends to be mostly true. Here we have this high stress job that we work at for so long and then it's over and you retire. Your body starts to relax and all of the years of stress catch up to you. It's a scary thought, I don't want to die young. This is one of the reasons I've started this blog. I just wanted an outlet to vent. I'm overwhelmed that it's been so popular with people, I didn't expect that. I'm getting emails asking when the next entry is, if I haven't written in a while. It's an added bonus because as much as I love driving, I also love writing and being able to share my experiences with others. Be warned though, for me this blog is, first and foremost an outlet to share my emotions whether they be anger, tears, giddiness, frustration, rage, excitement, or happiness. Not every entry will be funny, some will be sad or just plain angry but it's the way I'm feeling and I need to get it out. Thank you for reading this and your continual support.
While on probation, the company can fire me for any reason whatsoever and the union has their hands tied; they can't do shit all for you. But once you're finished, it's virtually impossible to get canned. Basically the only way it can be done is if you're caught stealing from the company, lose your license or have too many preventables (I know some people who have had five preventable collisions in less than a year and they're still here). We have a strong union and they'll fight hard for you.
Most drivers fill out about two -three incident reports a year. I've been here since the summer and I've filled out countless reports. My total is ten. Yeah, you read that correctly ten in five months. I'm lucky though, I haven't had any preventable collisions; I just have bad luck - things seem to happen to me.
I've been passed by two trolleys who forgot that you can't pass another trolley and they've knocked my poles off and broken either the pole or the rope.
I had my poles hit by a semi and had him knock the poles off, and break my rope. The rope ended up wrapped around two sets of overhead wire, forcing all of the trolleys to pull their poles to get past me.
There was a man who got off my bus, jaywalked across the street and got smoked by a car right in front of my windshield.
I once lost my poles on a turn and had one stuck on a support wire. I don't know if you've ever seen a trolley lose it's poles, they come off with velocity. We ended up having to call the line crew to get the pole off the wire.
I had a drunk man somersault down the aisle of the bus when I started moving.
I've had a van hit me from behind and knock his mirror off. I've my mirror hit by a passing truck. And those are just some of the incidents I've had.
For a while, it seemed that I was in my supervisor's office every other week discussing some incident that I'd had. On top of all of that drama, I've missed quite a bit of work. I was sick for a while and then threw my back out again. While on probation, you should be showing your best side to the company. You have to prove to them that they were right in hiring you. Looking at my record, I would have canned me a while back. Luckily, I have an amazingly understanding supervisor who realised that underneath all the drama, I am a good employee. I think it also helped that I've had a few accommodations from passengers!
Growing up my idea of what I wanted to do when I grew up changed on an almost daily basis. I'm pretty sure I drove my parents and friend's mad with all of my new harebrained ideas. "I'll just go to this school and get this certificate/degree/diploma and then I'll be set. I'll be happy and rich and successful..." I don't think I've ever met anyone as flighty and indecisive as myself. I was just counting the jobs that I've had since I was sixteen (these don't include baby sitting or paper routes, and those three summers at the same place count as one) and the grand total is 22. Yeah, I've had 22 jobs in nine years.
I must say though having held job 22 for half a year now, I don't envision myself moving onto number 23 anytime soon. I've never once held a job that I've quite enjoyed so much. I can't believe that I've already accumulated 900 driving hours. It still feels like I've just started here.
Sure, I have bad days, everyone does, the important thing is that I have more good days than bad. I have built remarkable relationships with amazing people and not so remarkable relationships with some not so amazing people. I've had people turn my day around with a kind word and a smile and I've in turn done the same for others. I've seen things that I wished I hadn't (Like the junkie sitting at the bus stop sticking the needle into his vein. I was horrified and yet so transfixed, I couldn't pull my eyes away for the life of me. It was the most fascinatingly, repulsive thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It makes me both thankful that I'm not, nor have I ever been in his situation and at the same time ashamed for the fact that I'm clean, sober, have a good job, a roof over my head and enough to eat. I should be doing more to help them) and I've seen some amazing acts of generosity and kindness (The people who give up their seats for the elderly, the man in the wheelchair who opted to wait for the next bus because I was a few minutes late and he didn't want to make me later).
Being a bus driver can be an incredibly stressful job, if you let it. There's a joke that most bus drivers only get about six months of their retirement before croaking. Unfortunately it tends to be mostly true. Here we have this high stress job that we work at for so long and then it's over and you retire. Your body starts to relax and all of the years of stress catch up to you. It's a scary thought, I don't want to die young. This is one of the reasons I've started this blog. I just wanted an outlet to vent. I'm overwhelmed that it's been so popular with people, I didn't expect that. I'm getting emails asking when the next entry is, if I haven't written in a while. It's an added bonus because as much as I love driving, I also love writing and being able to share my experiences with others. Be warned though, for me this blog is, first and foremost an outlet to share my emotions whether they be anger, tears, giddiness, frustration, rage, excitement, or happiness. Not every entry will be funny, some will be sad or just plain angry but it's the way I'm feeling and I need to get it out. Thank you for reading this and your continual support.
The bum
A bum gets on my bus and asks "Can I have a ride, I lost my bus pass". "It's a fare paid zone, if you want to take the risk of getting a $173 ticket, then go right ahead" I reply. I never say yes or no outright. A lot of drivers will say no. I won't. Most driver assaults occur because of fare disputes so if I inform rather than enforce, and by doing so I reduce the chances of something happening to me.
The bum gets on and takes a seat. I'm not deaf but I do have trouble hearing if there's a lot of background noise. I was driving a diesel bus (not exactly the quietest bus in the fleet) and since it was cold I had the heat and the fans on. The bum moves from his seat to stand behind me and says "I really don't appreciate you ignoring me, I'm a human being as well" "I'm sorry, sir. I just don't hear very well, can you repeat what you said" I reply. "I just hope that the people in this city learn a little bit more respect." he says. "Really? I thought most people in this city were fairly nice/respectful etc..." I say. "Where I'm from a bus driver would NEVER speak to me the way you just spoke to me. They actually have manners and understand that it's not our fault we're in this situation. Hell you should be paying me to ride your bus. I can't believe that you would speak to me like that. It's young people like you that are ruining the world." he rants. "Sir, I honestly did not mean any disrespect. I let you have a ride, most drivers wouldn't allow that but I did. I was just informing you of the risks you're taking by getting on the bus without a ticket. What if someone had got on and checked fares and you received a ticket? You could then blame me for not telling you that could happen. I just believe that everyone that rides the bus without a fare needs to know the potential consequences." I reply. "You fucking bitch. You think you're so high and mighty...looking down on people like me? You don't know what it's like!" he yells. He then got off the bus before I could even say a word.
On one hand it is quite sad that there are so many homeless in the city but on the other hand I think a lot of them need to take more responsibility for their actions instead of blaming others. I do believe that the government needs to provide more low income housing instead of tearing it all down. And I know our minimum wage is too low to allow people to live above the poverty line. It's been frozen for four years; I think they need to increase it by at least ten dollars in order to give people a fighting chance. This is an expensive city to live in and they need to start realising that. Either raise minimum wage or provide more low income housing. It is hard for me to be sympathetic sometimes. I've gotten to know quite a few of these bums. Some of them, for instance the one that just reamed me out, just choose to not work. There are so many jobs to be had in the city where you don't need to have an education. A lot of them even pay more than minimum wage. I asked one bum why he didn't work, and he said it was too stressful for him. I know for a fact he's clean, sober and in his right mind. Maybe I'm just not getting it. To me, I would find it more stressful to be on the streets; constantly worried about where I'm going to sleep, where my next meal's coming from etc. I also find there's a certain dignity in hard work. Sure it can be stressful and not every job is going to be a tiptoe thru the tulips, some are just going to suck but in my mind the fact that you've worked hard for your money and that you're honest makes up for that. I don't know, I personally couldn't handle begging for money. I need to retain some shred of dignity.
The bum gets on and takes a seat. I'm not deaf but I do have trouble hearing if there's a lot of background noise. I was driving a diesel bus (not exactly the quietest bus in the fleet) and since it was cold I had the heat and the fans on. The bum moves from his seat to stand behind me and says "I really don't appreciate you ignoring me, I'm a human being as well" "I'm sorry, sir. I just don't hear very well, can you repeat what you said" I reply. "I just hope that the people in this city learn a little bit more respect." he says. "Really? I thought most people in this city were fairly nice/respectful etc..." I say. "Where I'm from a bus driver would NEVER speak to me the way you just spoke to me. They actually have manners and understand that it's not our fault we're in this situation. Hell you should be paying me to ride your bus. I can't believe that you would speak to me like that. It's young people like you that are ruining the world." he rants. "Sir, I honestly did not mean any disrespect. I let you have a ride, most drivers wouldn't allow that but I did. I was just informing you of the risks you're taking by getting on the bus without a ticket. What if someone had got on and checked fares and you received a ticket? You could then blame me for not telling you that could happen. I just believe that everyone that rides the bus without a fare needs to know the potential consequences." I reply. "You fucking bitch. You think you're so high and mighty...looking down on people like me? You don't know what it's like!" he yells. He then got off the bus before I could even say a word.
On one hand it is quite sad that there are so many homeless in the city but on the other hand I think a lot of them need to take more responsibility for their actions instead of blaming others. I do believe that the government needs to provide more low income housing instead of tearing it all down. And I know our minimum wage is too low to allow people to live above the poverty line. It's been frozen for four years; I think they need to increase it by at least ten dollars in order to give people a fighting chance. This is an expensive city to live in and they need to start realising that. Either raise minimum wage or provide more low income housing. It is hard for me to be sympathetic sometimes. I've gotten to know quite a few of these bums. Some of them, for instance the one that just reamed me out, just choose to not work. There are so many jobs to be had in the city where you don't need to have an education. A lot of them even pay more than minimum wage. I asked one bum why he didn't work, and he said it was too stressful for him. I know for a fact he's clean, sober and in his right mind. Maybe I'm just not getting it. To me, I would find it more stressful to be on the streets; constantly worried about where I'm going to sleep, where my next meal's coming from etc. I also find there's a certain dignity in hard work. Sure it can be stressful and not every job is going to be a tiptoe thru the tulips, some are just going to suck but in my mind the fact that you've worked hard for your money and that you're honest makes up for that. I don't know, I personally couldn't handle begging for money. I need to retain some shred of dignity.
Brilliant idea.
Looking ahead to the next stop, I see this light waving sporadically about. What?? That is one drunk, big ass firefly.... As I get closer to the stop, I see there's someone waiting there. Opening the doors I ask "were you waving your cell phone at me?" "Yup. The back light in the bus stop was burned out and I wanted to make sure you saw me" the man replied.
Brilliant idea...literally!
Brilliant idea...literally!
Sorry, ma'am. I obviously wasn't thinking.
I spot a woman with a cane waiting at a stop. Seeing as she is about a metre from the I.D. post, I pull up directly in front of her so she doesn't have to walk as far to get on. As she gets on she launches into a tirade about how drivers are supposed to stop directly in front of the I.D. post and how I wasn't doing my job properly. "I'm sorry ma'am. I just thought I would make it easier for you to get on the bus" I say. "You thought? You're a bus driver, you aren't paid to think. Now start doing your job properly before I call in and complain about you" she replies. Sometimes, I just want to laugh out loud at the things people say to me!
Where's the compassion?
Driving onto the on ramp to go over the bridge I see an accident that must have occurred just minutes before I arrived. A car had lost control and ended up hitting the cement barricade head on. The car is blocking all of my lane and half of the other lane. I immediately stop the bus and get out to ensure that everyone is okay. I find out that it was a couple who was teaching their teenage daughter to drive when she lost control. No one is seriously injured from the collision and the car has been shut off to lessen the chances of a car-b-que happening. As I'm on the phone with communications telling them the street's blocked off and we need a tow truck and ambulance, I see a car switch lanes. It squeezes (with about an inch to spare on either side) between the barricade and the smashed car, drives over the debris and speeds away. Seconds later another car follows in it's path, and then another and another.
A bus pulls up beside me and also tries to drive past the wreckage; he soon realizes that he won't fit and stops the bus. He gets out and the first thing that he asks is if they can push the car to the side of the road so that he can get by because he's on a tight schedule. I couldn't believe this guy! I'm on a tight schedule as well but the first thing I'm going to do is make sure that everyone is okay before I drive away. I understand the need to clear the road so that traffic isn't held up but that's not the priority. And besides we were just about to push the car to the side, we were just waiting for all of the impatient drivers to pass by.
Now that it's safe, we push the car completely into the right side lane. The other bus driver immediately gets in his seat and tries to pull in front of me to get past the car. Unfortunately there isn't enough room, so he gestures impatiently for me to get going. I put the bus in gear and drive away. Half way across the bridge the other bus driver flies past me (the speed limit is 60, I'm doing about 62) and cuts me off (without a turn signal). He ends up making it to the stop about 20 seconds before I do.
I really don't see what everyone's hurry is. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I spent all of two minutes at the scene of the accident, which I thought was quite reasonable. It seems like everyone is in such a hurry now adays; they can't even be bothered to stop and smell the roses let alone help someone out. The worst part of the whole experience is that another bus driver wasn't even willing to help the situation, all he cared about was staying on schedule. I think as professional drivers we should be the first to stop and offer help but then again, maybe I have my priorities mixed up....I'm just the crazy driver who cares about people's welfare.
A bus pulls up beside me and also tries to drive past the wreckage; he soon realizes that he won't fit and stops the bus. He gets out and the first thing that he asks is if they can push the car to the side of the road so that he can get by because he's on a tight schedule. I couldn't believe this guy! I'm on a tight schedule as well but the first thing I'm going to do is make sure that everyone is okay before I drive away. I understand the need to clear the road so that traffic isn't held up but that's not the priority. And besides we were just about to push the car to the side, we were just waiting for all of the impatient drivers to pass by.
Now that it's safe, we push the car completely into the right side lane. The other bus driver immediately gets in his seat and tries to pull in front of me to get past the car. Unfortunately there isn't enough room, so he gestures impatiently for me to get going. I put the bus in gear and drive away. Half way across the bridge the other bus driver flies past me (the speed limit is 60, I'm doing about 62) and cuts me off (without a turn signal). He ends up making it to the stop about 20 seconds before I do.
I really don't see what everyone's hurry is. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I spent all of two minutes at the scene of the accident, which I thought was quite reasonable. It seems like everyone is in such a hurry now adays; they can't even be bothered to stop and smell the roses let alone help someone out. The worst part of the whole experience is that another bus driver wasn't even willing to help the situation, all he cared about was staying on schedule. I think as professional drivers we should be the first to stop and offer help but then again, maybe I have my priorities mixed up....I'm just the crazy driver who cares about people's welfare.
Hooked on phonics, drivers edition.
Stopping at a red light, a man comes up to the front of the bus to ask if he can be let off here instead of at the stop across the street. "Sorry, the light's about to change. I can't let you off." I say. The light changes two seconds later. "Wow, good call. You must be psychic or something" he says. "Umm, no. I just read the intersection" I replied. "huh?" he asks. "You don't drive? All you have to do is pay attention to the walk signal. Usually it flashes between 9 and 11 times (depending on the intersection) and then stays solid for five seconds. That way you know when the light's about to change and you can make a decision. If the light's green for me, I can tell approximately when it's going to change and based on where I am and the speed I'm going, so I can make a decision as to whether it's safe for me to proceed or not." I explain. "Wow, I've been driving for ten years and I never even thought to do that" he says. Wow! It never ceases to amaze me. Here I was under the impression that everyone read the intersection....I guess not. I wonder how many people drive like him???
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