Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go for the first time in over four months

Now if you're a regular reader of this blog, you've come to accept that crazy things happen to me ALL THE FUCKIN' time at work. Seeing as it was my first day back after a long leave of absence, I was at the very least expecting to be abducted by aliens, have to dismantle a pipe bomb and save a hooker from cardiac arrest. I mean that's the way god works right, I leave for four months so he's going to throw a whole lot of shit at me on my first day back.

All in all it was a fairly quiet shift. Maybe god does love me?

I was a little bit nervous about getting back into the drivers seat after such a long time but I kept reassuring myself it was like riding a bike. I started out a little overwhelmed. It was a friday night so there were people everywhere. On top of that I was driving a trolley bus downtown. I started off driving at about 20kms checking my mirrors every two seconds to ensure I didn't inadvertanly run over any drunks, tourists, bikers, clowns or moose. After about three stops I finally got my mojo (groove?) back.

I'm back bitches!

Going 50kms into a stop, without hitting anything or jarring the elderly passengers is a fine art form. It really was like riding a bike, except I crash a lot more while riding a bike.

My second run of the evening started off a little shaky. A firetruck and ambulance blocked the entire street so I ended up about ten minutes behind schedule. No big deal. Two intersections later, I lose my poles while crossing a major intersection. I stop and put the poles back up doing my best to ignore the drunk hecklers and cars trying to hit me. Dude, I was wearing a fuckin' safety vest, how could you not see me? Oh yes, you must have been driving your car drunk.

Once the poles are back on, I start driving only to have them come off two seconds later. It was my fault, I hadn't put them up properly. I got out again and made sure they were on the wire correctly. Three seconds later, they came off again. I go out and see that a tree has ripped them off the wire. Five minutes later, I've finally wrestled the poles out of the branches and am on my way again.

Random tangent: Why the hell doesn't the city do their damn job and actually prune the trees?

I ended up being about 20 minutes late so I skipped my break to get back on schedule. I didn't really need it, I was just so excited to be driving again.

Yeah, that's about all that happened tonight. Oh except for the unusually high number of guys that asked me out. I just dyed my hair blonde today, so I'm assuming that's the reason.

I don't work again till sunday. Hopefully I'll have more interesting stories to report.

One other thing. Make sure you try on your work pants long before you start work, like enough time to have them tailored if need be. Mine were held together with safety pins since I couldn't get the top button even close to done up.