Merry fuckin' Christmas to you too!

Christmas time; a time for joy, a time for giving, a time for family and friends, a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus (even though he was actually born in the spring but the date was changed so that it coincided with the pagan holiday but that's another tangent and I'm not going to get into it here). I've been noticing over the last week that instead of becoming more joyous, festive and giving as the season approaches, people are becoming more and more miserable. May I suggest a Christmas anger management program?

Candidate #1

The bus was turning left and turned in front of a woman on the OTHER SIDE of the crosswalk. It was the bus I was picking up, so I got in and started adjusting the seat while talking to the driver I was relieving. The woman (that was in the crosswalk) came up to the bus and started yelling and screaming, claiming that pedestrians have the right of way and as bus drivers we should know that! The other driver calmly told her that she was no where near hitting her and once you start a turn in a trolley you have to complete it or else you'll get stuck on an insulator and will have to pull your poles. The woman kept ranting and raving about how she just about got killed by the bus and she was going to complain, blah, blah, blah. The other driver just walks away, leaving me to deal with her. So I say, I'm sorry about that but have a merry Christmas. You know what she said? FUCK YOU!

Candidate #2

A man puts his $2.50 into the fare box and the tickets end up jamming. So I tell him, that I'm sorry but I can't give him a transfer as the fare box is now out of service. He reams me out like nobody's mother, saying that he has to get onto the train and he needs a ticket and it's all my fault and I'm doing this on purpose, blah, blah, blah. I ended up writing him a note on a piece of newspaper saying my fare box was broken but he had paid and this was my bus number and seniority number. I told him that if he had any problems to use the note and even if he gets a ticket he can call the depot in the morning and I'll vouch for him. "Fuck you, as if they're going to believe me? I could have written a note myself. Bitch!" he kindly tells me.

Candidate #3

I pass by a stop that no one has rung the bell for and no one is waiting at when this woman starts screaming that I've missed her stop. Because I'm nice, I stop just past the stop and kindly tell her that she hadn't rung the bell. "Well you're supposed to be stopping at every stop, so I don't need to ring the bell" she says. "Just so you know for next time, we don't stop unless someone has rung the bell or there are people waiting" I explain. "Bitch" she replies. At the next stop a man comes up to the front of the bus and tells me I'm out of sync. "Sorry?" I reply. "Well, you missed that poor woman's stop and you're fare box is "apparently" (yes he did the air quotes) broken. You must be new. You'd better step up your game. If I were your boss I'd fire your ass in a heartbeat" he says. I wisely chose not to reply.

Candidate #4

I pull into a stop, let everyone off and load up everyone. I start pulling away when the light turns red, so I stop. I was looking at the lights when suddenly I hear "You've got to be fuckin' kidding me lady! You won't even let me on the bus." I look over and I see a man about to walk away. I open the doors and say "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, if you had just knocked on the door, I would have let you in". "Like hell you would have! Fuckin' dyke drivers on power trips, you think you can just do whatever the fuck you want? You're worse than female cops!" he replies. Once again, I wisely chose not to reply.

Candidate #5

A guy about my age gets on the bus and states "You're the fuckin' ugliest woman I've ever seen in my entire life, why don't they hire hot drivers?"

Candidate #6

A police car had pulled someone over in the bus stop so I had no choice but to unload people onto the street. This old woman starts screaming at me saying that she couldn't get off the bus because she had a bad knee. I apologise and tell her that I obviously can't get into the stop with the police car there but I could lower the wheelchair ramp for her. "You think I'm fuckin' handicapped? I can't believe you just said that. I'm calling and complaining" she says. She manages to get off the bus, turns around and gives me the finger.

Candidate #7

A car is blocking the bus stop, waiting to turn left so I pull in behind it. There are about twenty people at the stop trying to get on the bus. A man gets on and starts yelling at me saying that he was first in line and that if I had stopped at the I.D. post he would have been first on and could have been able to get a seat instead of having to stand. "Sorry, sir but there was a car in front of me and I couldn't pull up to the post." I explain. He looks at me, looks out the front windshield (the car had turned by now) and says "What car? Are you on crack?"

I love Christmas! I just hate all of these debbie downers!