The vagina monologue

Me: Good morning



Middle aged woman: Vagina



Now the majority of people return the greeting with a "good morning" or at the very least a grunt. I have had some rather strange responses such as the man who howled at me, the kid who said "props" and offered his fist, and of course the overly friendly ones who have yet to have their morning coffee and just glare in return. But this is by far the oddest response I've heard.



There are a few ways I could interpret her greeting.



1. I had misheard her.



2. She has turrets. (I quickly ruled that out after she didn't make another peep for five minutes)



3. She was merely trying to find some way to relate to me. Since we're both women and both have vaginas, she chose to state that fact outloud.



4. English isn't her first language and she was confused as to what the proper response to good morning was.



5. She insulted me.



Personally, I chose to believe option #5. In this job I get insulted on a daily basis. Needless to say, I've heard pretty much every insult out there. The whole point of an insult to hurt the person, hopefully so badly they cry themselves to sleep every night and eventually wind up in therapy. So it's really useless to call a female bus driver a bitch or a dyke because chances are she's heard it a million times and she's not going to remember you for it. The guy who called me an ill begotten son of a wombat, I'll always remember him. As well as the woman who called me a douche-canoe. Those are examples of great insults. Take it from me, be original so they'll never forget you.